Your Life Is What You Make Of It

This article describes how your life is what you make of it. If you are willing to work hard to reach your ambitions and goals, there is no reason why should not attain them. In my opinion far too many people try to take short cuts or are too willing to expect free hand outs from other people or have the credit card attitude of buy now, pay later. I hope you enjoy the read.

I now had it in my head, that I also wanted a car for my birthday. Chris only lived a few doors away from my house and my parents looked out of the window to view his new car. I stated to them that I would love a car for my seventeenth and my parents started to laugh and replied with, I bet you would.

Despite this negative comment, I really believed they were only joking and was convinced that they would not let me down. My birthday arrived and I opened all of their gifts. The main present they had bought me was a pair of trainers. I have to admit they were a quality pair of trainers, however I wondered where they had hidden the car. The car was not hidden, it had not been bought.

An ungrateful young man went to bed, not best pleased. I then started to take driving lessons and on the second attempt managed to pass the driving test. I came home to inform my parents of the good news. My dad congratulated me and seemed proud of my achievement. I stated that I was also very happy, however in reality, what was the point if I had no car to drive. My father did not reply to this comment.

A couple of months later my eighteenth birthday was now approaching. My father told me that because this was quite a big birthday, he was planning to spend a bit more money on my presents this year. He asked me if I had any idea of what I would like. For the second year in a row, I replied that I would love a car. Yet again he laughed and stated that he had said a bit more, not hundreds.

I really believed that because it was in his words, a big birthday, and because I was now legally able to drive, that he would buy me a car. Guess what, he didn’t. Yet again I was not impressed.

I waited a couple of months and then tried the head on approach. I spoke to my parents and told them that I needed a car, they agreed. My dad stated that if I wanted a car, I should go and buy one. I replied that I had no money, and he stated that I should start to save up then.

I started to save and had to sacrifice many things. Eventually I bought a car. It was not exactly sporty but it was my pride and joy. I washed the car every weekend and am sure that I loved it ten times more than Chris loved his car, because I had earned it.

Whenever I want to achieve something in life, I am aware that I have to work very hard and am very grateful to the lesson my parents taught me, even though at the time it seemed harsh and cruel.

What To Do? Life’s Big Question

We’ve all experienced the same thing at important crossroads in our life when big changes were underway. Often, we find ourselves feeling panic and frozen in time, possibly with indecision, waiting and wondering: Which way to go?; How will things turn out? Sometimes, you just don’t know what to do.

I’m asked frequently about this topic and oddly, I have a lot of experience with it as well. In fact, I find my life in this state of flux often as more changes loom on the horizon. Everyone, myself included, wants answers. What should I do? How do I know? These answers are never forthcoming; we cannot see into the future. Every direction can be okay; one can be the best. The simple truth is, we just don’t know with 100% accuracy. This is where awareness and faith come in to play.

Awareness is important on many levels. Knowing the landscape of your life, you can make calculated decisions that support your goals. In business, and daily life activities, we implement this process automatically without much awareness at all, it has become so habitual. This, in part, is where a problem lies. Habitual behavior may not be appropriate as new data becomes available. Auto-pilot means your flying blind. Even when flying a plane on auto-pilot, the pilot will check the instrument panels to ensure the data is consistent. Why don’t we? Be aware of your data.

Your data comes from many sources and most of us are familiar with these sources. I might surprise some of you with new concepts. The common source that we’re all familiar with is the mind and store-house of knowledge and experience we have gained from life. Again, those who rely solely upon this source risk repeating the same mistakes over and over again. The mystery of life dictates that our ability to identify with life experience as truth results in creating more of this truth in our lives. If this truth is a truth of painful experience, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Utilizing other sources, we are able to objectively assess all sources and come to new conclusions.

The next common source is our emotions and intuition; they often are synonomous. A surprising fact here is that not everyone is in touch with their emotions or permit the emotions the freedom they deserve. Emotions are very useful in interpreting and/or being aware of underlying factors that may not be evident through hard tangible data. For some this is a gut-feeling, others have a flash of insight or conclusion, and others feel twinges in certain parts of the body without being aware of any potential significance. I have scenarios for each and will refrain from elaborating further for the sake of brevity today. Be curious to explore it further though.

A less common source for most is our spiritual awareness. This is a quiet place within that has a higher level of wisdom for the greater good. This can be pertinent to you, your life, your family life, community, work, the world, and so on. The levels of knowledge accessible here are limitless. It is as though we are connected to a universal storehouse of knowledge. This place of knowing is far less judgemental and emotional but has the ability to synthesize the data from the mind and emotions, integrating and offering solutions from a much higher level of consciousness. This is something that many people find themselves seeking as they mature and look for more significance in their lives and meaning in their work.

Finally, we must talk about the role of faith. It is the co-creative relationship and process that we have as human-beings with the source of all creation. This isn’t religious, it isn’t specific to any religion, yet it doesn’t contradict any religion. This is born from my own quest for truth integrated with my own life and spiritual experiences. It may be incomplete and is a direction to follow, not a destination for you to reach. Such is the nature of our spiritual life; it is the journey and the ever-changing, ever-increasing level of knowledge and wisdom that we gain through life experience. With an open-mind, entertain our relationship with the source of all creation.

Creation exists, as do we. We see it all around us. Scientists study deeper into the stars. More scientists study deeper into the mysterys of time and space; quantum physics. What is witnessed is creation, its’ magic and its’ mystery. Down at the quantum level we discover that we’re mostly made up of empty space and other unusual phenomena that cannot be explained. Out in the stars, they see an expanding universe. Now, going deeper, with probing satellites and quantum sciences, new theories arise. All seem to point to an apex of creation coming from nothing… a God Force.

Mystery is lived by people accessing this God-Force, understanding their co-creative relationship to this mystery. Understanding that this force is abundant love, it supplies us with what is in our intention. What we intend for our lives becomes real. Many people who do this consistently refer to it as manifesting. As children, many of us have had at least one solid experience of this. We may have just known that we would have something in our lives, whether a gift, an experience, a trip, whatever, and then it happens. There was no fear, doubt, uncertainty, only gladness for what was to come. That is the power of intent.

As adults, so much of our lives have instructed us to ignore so much. Don’t dream to big. You can’t do this. Don’t do that. That’s only for the privileged. You need to have a degree. There is too much competition. This is the way things work. Everywhere you turn, you are told how it is and what cannot be and you become conditioned. We have spent too little time in practice with our spiritual origins that we do not understand this mystery and in our need for control, we stifle its’ requirement for room to breathe and work its’ own magic. We measure things by worldly standards and time clocks, not realizing that in the bigger picture, some of those so-called failures actually were important stepping-stones in a grander scheme for our lives. Is our spiritual side still influencing the outcome? Are we making the experience harder, longer, or are we co-operating and making it easier?

What Stops You?

Have you ever had a terrific idea which you didn’t act on? Of course you have. I don’t mean anything fancy either. Nothing earth-shattering. Just a plain old-fashioned good idea which would have made you more money. But you didn’t get moving on it.

Oh well.

I have a friend I’ll call James. James is an independent management consultant and a deep, creative thinker. I have great respect for his abilities to understand his clients and develop unique solutions for them. But he isn’t very successful. His business is ok, but hardly booming–and certainly not where he says he’d like it to be. He works with interesting people–just never enough of them. And aside from soliciting referrals, he does nothing to increase his overall practice.

The funny thing is, this guy has more brilliant ideas about how to build his business than anyone I know. The problem is he doesn’t implement any of them. James is just one of those people who stops before he ever gets started.

So much for James. What about you?

Do you have more ideas than action steps? Why don’t you just get going?

I encounter this issue often with people who have tons of great ideas about what to do next, that never get implemented. And they want to know why.

Have you thought about what stops you from acting on ideas or programs which could bring rich rewards?

I have, and I think there are several simple reasons.

1. Lack of an inspiring, motivating purpose

Why should we do anything? Why indeed! That missing why is called purpose. Without a strong purpose the urgent things take over. The ringing telephone takes over. “You’ve Got Mail” takes over. The knock at the door takes over. Inertia takes over.

In physics we learn that it takes additional energy to break free of inertia. A powerful purpose adds that energy. Energy that organizes your actions, and brings the important things to the fore. To break free of the inertia of your current routine, you need an inspiring purpose.

2. No clear vision

Imagine yourself at a six-way intersection in a fog so thick you can’t see a single landmark. You can’t even read the road signs. Which way will you go? If you do pick a direction, will you be confident about setting out, or will you proceed slowly, hoping for the fog to clear a bit before you pick up the pace?

Everybody wants to go somewhere–at least everybody in business does. But without a clear vision you can’t see where you want to go. And if you don’t see it, you won’t proceed aggressively and confidently on a course toward it– whatever it is–will you? So even if you craft a plan–to take you…somewhere, you aren’t likely to execute it. At least not anytime soon.

3. Not willing to make sacrifices or do the work

You already have more than enough to do, and whatever else you take on means something has to be set aside. Sacrifice means giving up something of value for something of even greater value. Which means there is something more valuable to sacrifice for. And you haven’t clarified what that ‘something’ is. Or maybe you aren’t sure that it is worth it.

In this same category I put: giving up free time, relaxation time, play time, or whatever. But it always comes down to sacrifice, and the big question is, is it worth it. (By the way, I plead guilty to this one. There are times when I feel I have something important to accomplish, I just don’t feel it’s important enough to get off the couch for. What gets me moving is reciting the litany of purpose: “Why did I feel it was important? And what will happen because of that? And why is THAT important? And so on.)

4. Lack of belief

If you are certain something will work, there is no risk and you will likely take action. On the other hand, if you are uncertain–and most things are uncertain to some degree–you wonder if it the risk is worth it.

So what do you believe? Do you believe your actions will pay off or not? If you aren’t sure, how much effort will you put into it? Will you hesitate? Postpone? Procrastinate? Go at half-speed?

Or maybe ‘it’ will work, in someone’s hands, but you don’t believe it will work in yours. In other words, you lack of confidence that you can get it done, and the risk is too great.

Each of these issues can be addressed by having a powerful purpose–and an inspiring set goals to achieve. When these are strong enough, they make the potential reward that much bigger and alter the risk-reward ratio in favor of action.

5. Fear

Sometimes it comes down to fear. You have a vision and a purpose, and you think the risks are acceptable. But what if it doesn’t work out. Then what? That’s fear. It won’t work out the way you want it to. What will you be left with then? Or even worse, not only will it not work out, but something bad will come as a result of it.

6. Everything else

You just have other things to do. Like what? Like the day- to-day stuff of running your business or doing your job. You can’t just keep piling it on, can you? No, you can’t. The question is, are the things you are already doing all worth while? Should some of it be delegated? Should some of it be dumped, or put on the back burner?

Once again, you must weight what you are already doing against your purpose and goals. If your existing action set is effectively driving you towards your goals, there’s no need to do more. But if you aren’t moving sure-footedly in that direction, then you need to shift things around and make room for what will.

You may have to realign your priorities, and reevaluate your options so that your available time and energy is dedicated to moving you in the right direction.

What about you?

What stops you? Any one of these six things can hold you back, or it may be a combination of things. Once you identify what stops you, it is much easier to address and get moving. Now you can transform your ideas into an action plan.

Well Loved: How To Get Rid Of What You Don’t Want

I’m appreciating used things. I got a great gas barbecue on Freecycle; a practically new John Deere lawnmower for $50; a beautiful Le Creuset cast iron shelf from a friend’s basement, a lovely leather purse from the thrift shop. They feel like blessings. I get all the joy of something new plus an extra kick of getting it for nothing or practically so.

I’m typing this on a computer I bought used that’s sitting on a desk I got at a yard sale. Come to think of it, I also inherited this chair from some previous office and I’m drinking from a water bottle I’ve refilled a bunch of times.

Brand new, pristine, still in the wrapper has its appeal too of course. But throwing away perfectly good stuff bugs me. I wish it were easier to get something to a good home during that whirlwind of purging that comes upon us. I use all my energy cleaning out the junk room and have nothing left for separating the things for Goodwill from the load for the dump. At that point I want the detritus gone. Now.

I see that desire to be rid of the unwanted in my clients, and in myself. We want to be different, better, changed. And we want it now. A new job, a new body, a new relationship, a new way of living. I want what I don’t have, and what I have I don’t want.

There is no shortage of experts to tell us how to change. As a coach I probably fall into that category. But I don’t have a whizbang new approach-the Seven Steps to a whole new you. I believe you’re pretty darned fabulous exactly as you are and that all meaningful transformation starts with acceptance.

Accept yourself. Recycled advice? Yes. When you’re dissatisfied and stuck it can sound pretty useless. “Get me out of here!” You’d rather be any place else. But here and now is all there is. Loving and forgiving what is has got to be the first step.

Take a deep breath and bear with me for a moment here. You’re changing a state of mind.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Describe your current reality.

What’s really true? What’s not working? What is? What part do you want to make sure you keep in the future? What assumptions have you made that aren’t checked out? Whose definition of valuable are you using? What are the immediate challenges and which are more long term?

2. How is this working on your behalf?

Suspend disbelief for a moment and pretend that the aspect you want to change is actually serving you in some twisted way. For example, the asshole boss is creating the impetus for you to leave a job you should have left years ago; the health emergency is a wake up call; the break up is a clear decision when you were ambivalent. Put aside the unpleasant feelings for a moment and imagine a new way of looking at the same set of circumstances-a way in which you benefit instead of being a victim.

3. Forgive.
This can be a tough one, but it’s the most powerful. I’ve found that if I start where I am (unpleasant state-hurt, angry, etc) I can take baby steps that get me to real acceptance. Here’s a possible progression:
I forgive you for being a stupid jerk.
I forgive you for saying such an insensitive thing.
I forgive you for hurting my feelings.
I forgive you for not realizing that I was expecting you.
I forgive you for not reading my mind.
I forgive myself for expecting you to.
I forgive myself for overreacting.
I forgive myself for not saying what I want.
I forgive myself for not seeing my responsibility here.

It’s the acceptance, the ownership that gives you permission to let it go-whether we’re talking about anger or extra weight or a snakeskin vinyl raincoat. It’s not a question of judgment-keep the good and get rid of the bad. We’re a spectrum-a combination of choices that sometimes looks like a masterpiece and sometimes like mud. It’s not that red has no value. It just may not belong in your picture right now.

Maybe someone else can use it.

Ways To Improve Your Lifestyle

Are you looking at ways to improve your lifestyle? Are you bored in your current role of employment? Do you think you could be achieving a lot more than you are at the moment? Are you seeking a new challenge? In this article, I give advice on how people can go about improving their lifestyle, this advice is based from my own personal experiences.

I believe that we should always be looking into ways of expanding our knowledge and should never just accept second best. The brain is very powerful and loves to be set a new challenge or to a learn a new task. It is what keeps it alive and ticking over. I am sure that we have all heard of the phrase, I think this job is making me brain dead. This is where someone has a role in employment that is not challenging them or their brain, and this can lead them into a state of boredom and even depression. Their mind and brains are desperate for something to get to grips with and something to test them.

I am always looking into finding new areas of life which I can learn about. Just recently I have been attempting to educate myself on the ins and outs of website promotion. This is something which is of great interest to me and I wanted to find out about how you can increase the amount of visitors you have to a website. I have spent a great deal of time studying this area and even though I feel that I have learnt a great deal, I would love to know a lot more. What I like about website promotion and website marketing is that the search engines are constantly changing their ideas of how best to rank a site, as they are fighting a constant battle against spam. This certainly keeps me on my toes. One thing I have learnt in this and other fields is that hard work pays off and if you attempt to defraud the search engines you are more than likely going to be found out. That is a good thing in my opinion.

I also like to help out people on a voluntary basis. This is something I would advise other people to do if they have the spare time as it can give you a real buzz knowing that you are helping somebody and it also keeps you busy. A lot of people who have too much time on their hands can easily find themselves becoming restless and this can lead them into thinking too much. These thoughts are normally worrying about something or other which of course is not very healthy or productive.

The people I help out on a voluntary basis are my parents who run a form of animal sanctuary from their home. My parents are both in the sixties and struggle to look after the many animals that live with them. I normally spend around twenty hours a week at their house, cleaning out and feeding the fifty rabbits, walking the dogs and feeding the cats. It is not exactly the most interesting of things to do, but I know that it is helping take some of the burden away from my mother and father.

In the past I have also attended evening study classes. This again is where I am trying to improve my knowledge and is something of course that I can include on my c.v. It is also a great way of meeting new people which is something I like to do.

In conclusion there are many ways in which we can become happier and more contented. Our life does not have to be boring and mundane, there is always options out there of how we can go about improving our lifestyle. Good luck.