Category Archives: Goal Setting

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

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The Hasidic master, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach taught that on Passover night we are bringing our entire life stories to the Seder table to be freed. What exactly does this mean? To begin with, we are by nature, storytellers. Whether we are aware of it or not, we live in a world of stories. Stories that we tell our family, friends, coworkers, and clients. Stories we share over the phone, e-mail, in our journals and the stories that are constantly playing themselves out in our heads. Stories about what's happening to those we love, stories about those we despise, stories that inspire the spirit, and stories that instill fear.

The sum and total of our life is that, from our birth until our death, we are walking stories, here upon the earth. Yet on Passover, it's the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves that needs to be looked at and freed. The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves have great power over us. Depending on how they are told, our life stories can either enlighten or mislead, inspire or discourage.

A good exercise for this Passover is to become more aware of the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and our past. What are the underlying themes of our stories?

Victory? Betrayal? Struggle? Victimization? Each of us has had key events in our pasts, whether it be from our childhood, or more recent episodes of hurt and loss, where a part of us draws a reactionary conclusion about our life stories -- even when the conclusions are terribly incorrect. Many perpetuate these stories and our immature understandings of them often make a further mess of our lives in the process - unless a reminder comes to wake us up and reorient our perspective. Our Hebrew Sages teach that Passover is such a reminder.

Passover is a reminder that we need not live in our Egypts forever. There is a G-d, a Higher Power, that has an invested interest in our Liberation. Our job comes in our willingness to understand, heal and ultimately elevate the stories we hold onto that are no longer working for us. After all, it does clearly state in the Haggadah, "In every generation a person is obligated to see themselves, as if they themselves left Egypt". What are we doing to leave THIS year?

We can simply begin by looking at our life stories and revising parts of the script. Remember, it's not what happened to us that's important but what we make of those events.

The following suggestions are designed to help us tell our stories well this year:

Become a Sympathetic Narrator

When telling your story about yourself, to yourself, become a sympathetic narrator.

In literature, a sympathetic narrator is one who takes the side of the story's protagonist or main character. For example, when the Torah introduces the life of King David, it includes his shortcomings, yet does not let it take away from his greatness. Similarly, we need to admit mistakes yet not obsess over them. A sympathetic narrator casts daily failures as learning experiences, painful yet helpful steps on the way to success.

Choose What You Want to Emphasize

Any honest reporter will tell you that all stories have a slant. It's not that reporters try to mislead, it's just that in choosing what to cover, some things are always left out or minimized in order to create a perspective. And that's OK. Likewise, in our own stories of loss or pain, deciding what to highlight can bring about the difference between lingering bitterness and a sense of closure.

Seek the Higher Purpose

There is a core spiritual principle that our lives are divinely designed for each one of us to get exactly what we need to support our own soul's unique evolutionary process. As the Baal Shem Tov taught, "You are exactly where you need to be", which implies that we should not get too caught up in our internal struggles against what is, or what was, which will only lead to more pain and suffering. According to this spiritual belief, nothing in our world occurs by accident and there are no coincidences, only synchronicity. When reframing our life stories, attempt to see the "Hand of G-d" or the pattern of events that have led us to this moment. These patterns of connectedness or synchronicity are the magical language of the Divine in our lives. When rewriting our stories, seek to see beyond the circumstances and instead at the Divine Order of the unique paths that have chosen us.

As for the Life Story that still plays itself out today:

Work on the 20 Percent

While it is not commonly known, according to the Midrash, when Moses left Egypt, only 20 percent of the nation of Israel left with him. The other 80 percent remained behind, and did not succeed in taking the risk of leaving an imprisonment that was all too familiar to them. An interesting correlation is found in the meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and other recovery groups where the statistic is the same. It is known that only 20 percent of those in recovery will remain sober, the other 80 percent will inevitably relapse into old behavior as statistics have shown, because the life of addiction, no matter how painful and dark, is at least familiar.

Consequently, when we say we want to change our life stories, the important thing to remember is not whether we feel 100 percent confident and ready. The more realistic question to ask ourselves today is whether we still have a least 20 percent of ourselves that is strong enough to take the steps, and if we can agree to work on that 20 percent that is committed and willing. Passover asks us to at least look for that part, to find that part, and to work on that part, for it is there that we might find the secret of finding the life we want and deserve to live.

Top 10 Traits of Highly Successful People

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We have all read about people who are successful briefly. They win a gold medal, make a fortune, or star in one great movie…and then disappear. Or, there are those like Marilyn Monroe and Howard Hughes who achieve extraordinary success, at the cost of their own lives. These examples do not inspire me!

My focus and fascination is with people who seem to do well in many areas of life, and do it over and over through a lifetime. In entertainment, I think of Paul Newman and Bill Cosby. In business, I think of Ben and Jerry (the ice cream moguls), and a local hardware store owner who is famous for the money he's give to children's charities. As a Naval Officer, husband, businessman, politician and now as a mediator and philanthropist on the world stage, Jimmy Carter has had a remarkable life. We all know examples of people who go from one success to another.

These are the people who inspire me! I've studied them, and I've noticed they have the following traits in common:

1. They work hard! Yes, they play hard, too! They get up early, they rarely complain, they expect performance from others, but they expect extraordinary performance from themselves. Repeated, high-level success starts with a recognition that hard work pays off.

2. They are incredibly curious and eager to learn. They study, ask questions and read -- constantly! An interesting point, however: While most of them did well in school, the difference is that they apply or take advantage of what they learn. Repeated success is not about memorizing facts, it's about being able to take information and create, build, or apply it in new and important ways. Successful people want to learn everything about everything!

3. They network. They know lots of people, and they know lots of different kinds of people. They listen to friends, neighbors, co-workers and bartenders. They don't have to be "the life of the party", in fact many are quiet, even shy, but they value people and they value relationships. Successful people have a rolodex full of people who value their friendship and return their calls.

4. They work on themselves and never quit! While the "over-night wonders" become arrogant and quickly disappear, really successful people work on their personality, their leadership skills, management skills, and every other detail of life. When a relationship or business deal goes sour, they assume they can learn from it and they expect to do better next time. Successful people don't tolerate flaws; they fix them!

5. They are extraordinarily creative. They go around asking, "Why not?" They see new combinations, new possibilities, new opportunities and challenges where others see problems or limitations. They wake up in the middle of the night yelling, "I've got it!" They ask for advice, try things out, consult experts and amateurs, always looking for a better, faster, cheaper solution. Successful people create stuff!

6. They are self-reliant and take responsibility. Incredibly successful people don't worry about blame, and they don't waste time complaining. They make decisions and move on. Sometimes they are criticized for taking this to extremes -- Jimmy Carter carried his own briefcase and a President "shouldn't" do that! Extremely successful people take the initiative and accept the responsibilities of success.

7. They are usually relaxed and keep their perspective. Even in times of stress or turmoil, highly successful people keep their balance, they know the value of timing, humor, and patience. They rarely panic or make decisions on impulse. Unusually successful people breath easily, ask the right questions, and make sound decisions, even in a crisis.

8. Extremely successful people live in the present moment. They know that "Now" is the only time they can control. They have a "gift" for looking people in the eye, listening to what is being said, enjoying a meal or fine wine, music or playing with a child. They never seem rushed, and they get a lot done! They take full advantage of each day. Successful people don't waste time, they use it!

9. They "look over the horizon" to see the future. They observe trends, notice changes, see shifts, and hear the nuances that others miss. A basketball player wearing Nikes is trivial, the neighbor kid wearing them is interesting, your own teenager demanding them is an investment opportunity! Extremely successful people live in the present, with one eye on the future!

10. Repeatedly successful people respond instantly! When an investment isn't working out, they sell. When they see an opportunity, they make the call. If an important relationship is cooling down, they take time to renew it. When technology or a new competitor or a change in the economic situation requires an adjustment, they are the first and quickest to respond.

These traits work together in combination, giving repeatedly successful people a huge advantage. Because they are insatiable learners, they can respond wisely to change. Because their personal relationships are strong, they have good advisors, and a reserve of goodwill when things go bad. And finally, none of these traits are genetic! They can be learned! They are free and they are skills you can use. Start now!

Tips For Successful Goal Setting

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When we first begin working toward a goal, we are filled with passion, fire and excitement. We feel invincible and we just know that we can accomplish whatever we desire. We take off running toward our goal, determined to make it happen, and we know we CAN make it happen.

Then we begin to encounter some obstacles. We may struggle through a few of them, but then we begin making excuses for not working on our goals. Perhaps we lose interest and get overwhelmed with daily activities. Before we know it, our goal has been placed on the "back burner" and we are no longer working toward it. Worse, maybe we no longer believe that we CAN make our dreams a reality. What happened? In my own experience, there are four key ingredients to making your dreams come true.

Why - What is your reason for wanting this particular goal? Let's say your goal is to buy a house. Ask yourself why you want that. Your answer may be something along the lines of, "Because I want to own my own property rather than paying rent for the rest of my life." Okay good. But why? What does it matter if you own your own property or pay rent? Your answer might now be, "Because I want to have the house paid off by the time I retire, so I don't have to worry about paying rent or a mortgage payment on a fixed income." Great! But why? What will that do for you? Keep asking yourself WHY, and writing down your answers until you get to the "meat" of your desire. Once you have a clear desire in mind . . .

Believe You Deserve It - many of us struggle with low self-esteem and at a core level, we don't feel we deserve success and abundance. Guess what? If we don't believe we deserve it, we will resist it when it arrives. We may do this unconsciously by sabotaging our own efforts, or we may outright refuse to even try. We must first understand and then truly believe that we DO deserve success and abundance. In addition, we must be willing to receive it. We're so good at giving to others, but many of us won't accept help or blessings for ourselves. We feel it is better to give than to receive, and in some ways it is. However, that doesn't mean we shouldn't receive at all. Be willing to believe that you deserve to be successful and happy. Then be willing to accept that abundance when it arrives. Affirm aloud to the universe each day, "I joyfully accept all of the abundance and happiness the universe has for me, NOW."

Step by Step - If your goal is to buy a house, you likely have alot of smaller goals that must be accomplished first. You will need to build up a savings for the downpayment. You may need to clean up your credit report and pay down existing debt. You will need to see if you qualify for a mortgage loan. Always keep your ultimate goal in mind, but focus on the smaller steps that will get you there first. If I wanted to drive to California, I'd have to pay attention to the route I need to take to get there, not just the destination. Write out a list of the smaller steps that will help you reach your goal, and then begin working on them one at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself by thinking only of that big, shining vision of the completed project.

No Matter What - Decide that you will do this, no matter what. No matter what obstacles come up, no matter if your desire and determination begin to fade. True success comes to those who just won't give up. Make a promise to yourself that you will continue working toward your goals no matter what happens. Write this promise out and put it somewhere you will see it. Read it aloud to yourself every single day.

Keep reminding yourself that nothing will change unless you change it. Fuel your determination with positive thoughts and keep moving forward. If obstacles come up, find a way around them. If there is absolutely no way around a particular obstacle, switch your focus and begin working on another aspect of your goals. Many times obstacles will fade away if given enough time, or sometimes a solution presents itself when we least expect it. Let your determination glow hot and bright, and burn away all doubts and fears. Know that you can do it, and you will.

Using The Law Of Attraction With Goals

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Many people think there is a conflict between the Law of Attraction, as taught in "The Secret" and goal-setting. The belief that you should let the Universe decide how to bring you your goal seems to conflict with planning your goal strategy. However, these two approaches are compatible. Let me explain.
A great majority of people believe that it is wrong to be too specific when they set goals. After viewing films like "The Secret", which is wonderful and enlightening, some people have the false belief that being specific is the wrong approach. Many teachers in this movie guide you towards allowing the Universe to decide how you get what you want. So if we follow this approach how does setting a goal, complete with a plan for its attainment, fit into this attraction process?
Well, anyone who has achieved an objective through traditional goal-setting methods is well aware that including specific details is the key to its attainment. They fully realize that being as specific as you can increases the likelihood of achieving your goal. These specifics should include completion date, a plan to follow that will lead to the achievement of the goal, stepping stone goals and highly specific details of the goal itself. For example, you may set a goal to have an increase in turn-over of $10,000 by the end of the quarter. You immediately devise a plan to increase sales and begin to build your goal steps by setting smaller goals that will lead to bigger goals that will lead to the attainment of your desired outcome. So how does this fit into 'The Universe knows the best way' approach offered by most law of attraction experts?
Well it's really very simple. When these teachers talk of not getting caught up in the specifics they do not mean the goal itself. They are referring to the delivery method of the goal. The Law of Attraction is always responding to your personal vibration. Your vibration is affected by what you think and how you feel. So if you get specific in your goal and even set time-limits for specific tasks then the Law of Attraction is responding to those thoughts and the feelings associated with them. By staying focused on the specifics your desired outcome and feeling very positive emotions about it and the attainment of it, you are adding tremendous power to the workings of the Law of Attraction. As long as you don't feel negative about your goal, or the plan you have devised, goal-setting like this can be very powerful.
However, if you set your aims too high, or make your goals unrealistic, then the Law of Attraction will work against you! You feel overwhelmed, doubtful and stressed. The Law will respond to this and your attraction vibration will be the opposite of what you want. By over-stretching yourself you will get negative thoughts and feelings about your goal. But by setting realistic goals, that do still stretch you, you can fully utilize the Law of Attraction to your advantage.
One key element of the Law of Attraction is that you always get more of what you focus on. Placing your attention on certain things consistently makes them grow and expand. So, by setting goals and working a plan to achieve it you are actually focusing your energy, thoughts and emotions towards that of the desired objective. By having set time-limits for the achievement of each step of your goal and the goal itself your thoughts, energy and feelings are also focused in that direction. Thus you are following one of the fundamental rules of the Law of Attraction -- what you put our attention on expands. However, don't get caught up on the one channel of distribution. Be open to the universe bringing you your goal any way it sees fit! You can still be specific about your plan but remain flexible and look for other opportunities.
The key is to always remain focused on the goal itself and not on the lack of it! You must also ensure you do not get frustrated if it appears that you may not reach your goal in the time-limit you specified. These are draw-backs of goal-setting as far as the Law of Attraction is concerned. However, they can be over-come.
Set realistic easily managed goals at first. Once you become proficient at goal-achievement you can start to stretch yourself a little more each time. As you begin to see overwhelming evidence that the Law of Attraction exists and that it is working in your favour you will be able to set you goals higher and bigger until there is nothing you cannot achieve.
Remember that when you reach for a goal to generate as much positive thoughts and feelings you can as they will ad power to your efforts through the Law of Attraction thus attracting more and more things to you that will get you closer and closer to your objective, until finally it falls in your lap!

What Do You WANT? What Do You DESERVE?

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This article is used for discovering our needs from life, our desires for where we want to be and who we want to become. Remember life is not about finding out who we are but about creating who we want to become, the things we will leave behind with our team, our family and our friends.

FOR EVERYBODY?

You may or may not be suprised to hear that not everyone in this world is always aware of how they fit into their community or what they want to do with themselves. There are many people who have such amazing minds and can accomplish so many things yet they are never sure of what direction in life they would like to take.

From our studies of excellence and successful people we can see that each person who considers themselves to be successful and peaceful within themselves all have this outcome for who they want to be in life. In fact it goes a step further than that because they not only know who or what they want to become but they can describe it to you in explicit detail. They have images and sounds in their minds that accurately show them what they are going towards and with this they build a tenacious resolve deep inside to become this all successful human being. Even before they achieve their successes, on their way down the road to their various goals they experience comfort and total peace of mind as they are getting closer to that dream with every passing minute.

TRUE SUCCESS

Walter Disney is known as a famous cartoonist and for making Disney World and Disneyland. His dream was to become a cartoonist and he made his dream come true. Not only did it come true but DisneyWorld today is one of the most renowned and spectacular cartoon producers ever! That is the product of knowing your outcome. In fact not to long ago at a news conference a reporter asked representatives of DisneyWorld what they thought Walt would have said about Disney World today. Their reply was along the lines of - "What do you mean? He saw it first!". They realised that it was all made possible because of one mans dream and in that dream he saw exactly what he was going to produce - his very own Disney World.

Another example of this is Bill Gates. From the very beginning Bill always knew his personal outcome. He wanted to come up with some software that would be used to run every computer in the entire world. Some dream! Did he make it come true? Well I think we can safely say yes he did because MS Dos and the Windows operating systems have been implemented on more than 95% of the worlds computers. How amazing is that? He didnt even come up with the software to begin with, he purchased the Dos system from IBM in the early days for little over 35, 000 dollars and now hes the richest man alive. That is some by-product of one teenagers dream.

STRATEGY

However, before we can see our lifes dream come around like our friends Walt Disney and Bill Gates, there is a need to establish what our desired outcome really is. Where do we want to be? Who do we want to become? What is it in life that is really that important to us? We need an answer to these questions to grow in life, its vital to have direction in order to feel fulfilment and real satisfaction in your life.

So lets get to the specifics, how can we know and begin to develop our outcome? In order for us to look at what your personal outcome is for your life and who you want to become you need to think about your desires for life and what you believe is a must have/be or what is a could have/be. To start thinking along these lines, do the following exercise with a pen and paper and see what you can come up with.

1. Remember back to when you were young and when you were just starting to realise that your life is yours and you can direct it any way you like. Remember the times that the adults in your life would ask you what you would like to do when you grow up. What was your answer? At the age of 7 or 8 what did you want to do when you became a grown up? Think about it for a moment and see that small you thinking "Hmmm, what would I like to do?".

In your minds eye bring that image of what you wanted to do up close and make it bright and colourful, really see what it was that you wanted to do. Take your time, for some this does not come easy. Once you have a large bright image of what you wanted to do in your minds eye, think about what that job or role would have meant about you as a person. For example would it show you to be caring, intelligent, humble or would it show you to love people or that you are explorative and open minded? Take some time to list the things that this job you wanted to do would say about you as a person.

Once you have a list of things written down, think how many other pursuits in life could lead to having the same fundamental characteristics as the job you desired when you were younger. What else could you do to become that person that you always wanted to become? How else can you achieve your lifes desires and goals and to truly feel fulfilled in yourself? To add more juice to the things coming into your mind right now try going through the second step in creating a well defined outcome for your life.

2. Now is the time to really let go and be silly. Use your imagination in this step like you have never used it before. Dont allow beliefs about how the world really works stop you from exploring every avenue of life in this exercise.

What I want you to do now is to imagine that everything you do in your life from now on will be 100% totally successful. Nothing will ever fail for you from this point onwards in your life. Now from this position of power, make a list of as many different things you would like to accomplish. What would you do, would you buy a yatch and sail the world? Would you find a cure to a fatal disease? Would you make it your mission to move towards world peace? Would you burn all your clothes and get a new wardrobe and become a new person, an excelling person who loves his/her life? Write down all the things that you would like to do if everything you did was totally successful. List them all and leave nothing out. Nothing is too silly or mad or impossible for this exercise. What would you do? Think about it. Write it down.

3. So by now you should have two lists and be able to see yourself doing them in your minds eye very vividly and colourful and bright. If not just spend some time looking over the lists and practice seeing yourself already accomplishing the things noted down. Notice how the pictures look in your mind and how that makes you feel.

4. In this step you need to go through your lists and pick out just 5 things that will affect your life for the better. That will move you towards your goal of who you want to become and give you the results you truly deserve. Carefully consider each item and weigh up the time lines before committing to it as a goal for your life. Select just 5 things so that you can give complete time and energy and remain focused on pursuing your lifes outcome.

This four step process will enable us to identify the meaning of who we want to become and give us the images in our minds of what life will be like when we have accomplished them. There are some important factors when establishing our lifes outcome which need to be addressed if we are to remain juiced about it or stay motivated about it through the duration of acquiring the changes and the desired results. These factors can easily be remembered as follows:

i) Stated positively in terms of what we want. The human mind does not comprehend negatives. What do I mean by this? Well for example try not noticing the sensation in your stomach right now, or try not thinking of the colour blue. Its pretty much impossible because you first have to know what it is you are not thinking about the then replace it with something else. The human mind works using positives so dont state goals such as I dont want to smoke anymore. Rather state something like I want to become a healthy vibrant individual with lots of energy and passion for life. Stating it this way and using this to form your images of your desired results will drastically increase your chances of achieving your lifes outcome.

ii) Described in sensory based language. Now that we have stated our outcome in positive language we can now ask "What will I see, hear and feel when I have my outcome?". Doing this will help us to realise when we have fully realised our desires for our life. Close your eyes briefly and see the pictures of what it will be like when you achieve your desired outcome. Listen carefully to your surroundings as you realise your goal and see how that makes you feel inside. Doing this will setup your nervous system to continually look forward to achieving the goals and drives you towards them until achieved.

iii) Self initiated and self controlled. Although you can control your own mind and emotions you cannot control those of others. So, for example, it would be futile to base outcomes on changing your spouse or parent(s). You must be in control of your desired outcome and only you can know how and when to achieve it.

iv) Appropriately contextualized. We need to build our outcomes for our lives so that it fits into all the appropriate areas of our lives. If we over generalize our outcomes we may find that they are inappropriate in some areas in our lifes. Think about when, where and with who you wish to have this outcome. Do you want it in all places and without limitations?

v) Maintain appropriate secondary gain. All of our present behaviour provides us with some positive values and outcomes. It may not always be obvious but there will always be a positive intention behind the behaviour for example a smoker will get some positive feedback from the experience of a smoke despite its destructiveness on the body. You need to ensure that your outcome would be desirable in your entire ecology or system. For example ask yourself what would you loose if you achieved your goals? Would you loose any personal time for yourself? Would it hinder your relationships with your family? Would you have to give up anything that you feel is important to have your success?

vi) Build the needed resources. To have any desired outcome we need resources. If someone cannot clearly imagine themselves having the outcome it is often an indication that they do not have all the require resources. What do you have now and what do you require to achieve your goals? Have you or anyone else you know ever done this before? Where can you find more information regarding your specific sensory based and well defined outcome?

vii) Ecology check. In order to achieve anything in life you need to ensure that it fits your entire system, your family, your work, your friends. Does it fit who you are or who you want to become? Ask the following questions and think about your answers before committing to the results you desire: What will happen if you get it? What wont happen if you get it? What will happen if you dont get it? What wont happen if you dont get it?

CELEBRATE

By now you should have a well defined, sensory based and ecologically sound outcome for your life. You already knew deep inside what you wanted but perhaps it has never been an appropriate time to think about it like this before. Now you should go and celebrate. Congratulate yourself and start dreaming about how you are going to start your journey to building a new, totally satisfied and truly peaceful you.

If you require any further help, please take the time to look through our other articles as they cover a wide variety of issues and they are free. We just want you to achieve your best and we know you are more then the sum of your parts. We also have personal life coaches for those who are interested in taking their life to the next step.

The SMART Way to Set Goals

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Goal setting is equal parts art and science. Many people create goals that simply don't work. If you're in business, you don't have the luxury of creating goals that don't work. You need to work effectively and you need goals you help you do it.

Here is a great way to create good goals that work… that keep you on track. They're called SMART goals and the acronym SMART will help you to remember the things that each goal needs to be:

* Specific: Your goal needs to be stated in a way that is clearly defined. Saying, I should work more, is not a goal that will be kept. However, saying, I am going to work a total of 8 hours each day, is a goal that is much clearer and specific.

* Measurable: This is closely related to the above attribute except that it also includes a way to make sure you are on track. A goal that says, I want to make more money, isn't measurable. However, a goal that says, I want to earn $6000/month, is a far more measurable goal. It's easy to see, at the end of the month, whether or not you achieved it.

* Actionable: This means that your goal should be something that you need to do yourself in order to accomplish it. If you want to increase your income this year, it's not realistic to say, I'm going to win the lottery this year, because you have no control over whether you will win the lottery or not. However you might say, I'm going to increase my sales efforts by cold calling 10 people each day, which is something you can take action on yourself.

* Realistic: Goals that are actually achievable are much better and far more motivating. You'll feel better about yourself when you do hit goals than if constantly shoot for them and fall short. Realistic goals should not be so easy that you hit them every single time but should not be so hard that you never reach them at all.

* Time-oriented: Similar to the measurable attribute, your goal should have a timeframe for you to accomplish it in. Deadlines help people achieve their goals. If you anchor your goal to a time, you'll be able to watch your progress.

You can remember this with the acronym, SMART, so that when you're creating goals, you can create better goals for yourself. This is a popular goal-setting acronym in business, although occasionally the words are changed slightly to reflect the needs of the business.

 

The One Two Punch For Success: Authenticity And Alignment

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Have you ever felt as if you are beating your head against a wall? You repeatedly try to reach a goal but you never seem to achieve it. Instead you are struggling rather than moving forward and achieving your goals with grace and ease.

You are not alone. The struggle to move from what we don't want to what we do want is, unfortunately, a fundamental struggle for many individuals. Believe it or not, it is very common for people to struggle against what they want and to actively limit their good.

In order to have what you want, you must be willing to end the struggle and move into action. Your success is dependent on your ability to reach your goals and achieve.

The easiest way to move from "stuck" into action without struggle is to be authentic and to be in alignment with your authenticity. Authenticity means that you are connected to your core and that your desires are a true reflection of your inner self and soul.

Alignment means that your entire being is in agreement with the goal you want to achieve. For example, you come home from work one evening and you are very tired. But this evening is your work-out night. You sit on the couch and actually have to talk yourself into getting into your gym clothes and heading off to the gym. What you did in convincing part of yourself to go to the gym when it really wanted to rest on the couch is called alignment. You got yourself into alignment with the idea and intention of going to the gym no matter how tired a part of you felt.

To end struggle and successfully achieve goals, all parts of you must work together for manifestation. That means all bodies, mental, physical, emotional and spiritual, must be in agreement concerning a goal. There can be no doubts, limiting beliefs or attachments. The following describes a process you can use to do an authenticity check concerning your goals and bring yourself into alignment with your goals.

Step One: Sit quietly -- create a peaceful, serene and nurturing space for yourself. It must be a space where you feel comfortable and secure. Spend several minutes in quiet and inner reflection upon your goal. Have paper and pen handy.

Step Two: The Authenticity Check: Ask within if this goal is the appropriate goal for you to achieve at this time. If the answer is yes, skip to the next step. If the answer is no, ask what a more appropriate goal would be for you right now.

By asking this question, you move from being ruled by the needs of the mind (survival issues) and begin to access the soul within. You leave behind the petty desires of the ego and move into realizing the desires of the soul. As a result, your goals become truer and more authentic.

Write down the response you receive. If you need additional clarity concerning the response, ask for it. Keep asking within until you feel complete.

Step Three: Alignment. Once you have a defined and authentic goal, it is time to create alignment. Remain in your space of quiet and comfort; ask to speak to your mental body. (You will repeat step Three with each of the bodies) Ask your mental body if it is willing to be in alignment with you goal. The purpose of this question is to uncover any blocks or limitations that reside in the mental body concerning the goal. If the answer is yes, proceed to the next body: physical, spiritual and emotional.

If the answer is no, simply begin a conversation with this part of you. Some questions to begin with are: Why are you not willing to be in alignment with this goal? What would it take for you to be in alignment with this goal?

When a part is not willing to be in alignment with an authentic goal, the cause may be fear or insecurity. Usually the situation is remedied by helping the part understand that it is taken care of, that it is safe and that it has nothing to fear. Simply, have a conversation with the part and inform it of the truth.

Once you receive the willingness of all the bodies, remember to thank them for supporting the manifestation of this authentic goal. Affirm your alignment with this goal and your intention to manifest it.

By completing this process, you have created an authentic goal and brought yourself into full alignment with this goal. You can now move forward without struggle because all blocks have been removed. Success shall be yours.

We Are Gods Of A Greater God

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Have you ever wished that you were a God, creating anything you could possibly want, and destroying the things that you don't want? Have you ever wished that you could wiggle your nose, and a pile of money would magicallly appear? Or, maybe make a wish upon a star, and it comes true?

Wishing upon a star may or may not work, but wishes can come true, hence the saying, "Be careful what you wish for." So, if wishes can come true, then just what is it that makes this happen? Wishes are just thoughts, right? Then there must be some sort of force, or energy in thoughts, that enables them to become things. In fact, all things have energy, even thoughts. It's just a matter of harnessing that energy, and properly directing it into something solid.

There is a term for this concept, and that term is manifestation. The act of creating something visible, like money, out of something invisible, like thoughts. It is the subconcious mind that turns wishes into reality, not the concious mind. You will probably be waiting for a long time if you simply just state your wish, like wishing upon a star. It has to be deeper than that. You need to be dreaming about your wishes. You need to see pictures of your wishes over and over again. This is why subliminal messages are so powerful, because images are flashed very quickly, and your subconcious mind picks up on that.

So, putting up pictures of what you want, or signs with simple words, can really help your subconcious in figuring out what it is you want. If you want money, put up a picture of money, and look at it frequently. If you want a better body, put up a picture of what you would like to look like.

Your subconcious will then understand that that is what you want. You will need to look at these pictures frequently, and especially upon waking. It is also reccommended that if you wake up in the middle of the night, the time when your subconcious is most active, that you look at the picture, close your eyes, look again, close your eyes, and repeat this process, until you get what you want.

You can create virtually anything, changing your life. But you need to believe that you can do it, set your goals, and remain positive that it will happen. There is an indescribable amount of power behind thoughts, and one just needs to learn to use this power to changes their selves, and their lives for the better.

If you are interested in these concepts, and would like to change your life for the better, then please visit my website, where you will get access to the FREE ebook "The Manifesting Mindset." You can find the my website address below.

To Realize your Dreams, Focus on Significance, not Success

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What if true fulfillment could be found not in what we achieve, but in the significance of what we do?

Often, when we think about setting goals for ourselves, we think about what we could have or do that would bring us great success. We dream of a promotion, being on TV, winning the lottery, going on exotic trips, and of the proverbial, shiny red corvette. All these things represent a form of success that we imagine being available for ourselves.

It seems reasonable that winning the lottery or getting a new car would increase our standard of living. After all, who couldn't use more money or a better car? However once we've made it to one level of success, we rarely take a moment to appreciate it before moving on to the next. The material object we desire has been captured, and the chase is over.

It is instances like this where we have failed to make a true difference in our own lives. By focusing on objects of success, rather than objects of significance, we have created a continuous cycle of disappointment.

How is focusing on success different from focusing on significance?

We all have a slightly different idea of what success is, based on our own opinions of what it takes to have, be, and do 'more' or 'better.' In this sense, the things we feel successful about are measurable things in our life. Getting the promotion means we have succeeded in acquiring a measurable result. Winning the lottery is a measurable result, as is making it onto Jeopardy(tm), visiting Nepal, or owning a corvette.

We also have our own opinions of what is significant in our lives. Our families, friends, spiritual commitments, and health are just a few examples. Sometimes we sacrifice experiences and actions that would make a profound impact in what we would consider significant in our lives, because we are blinded by the more appealing, "successful" solution that will make us look really good.

If your dream is for your children to grow up to be healthy, have solid values, and be productive citizens, which would make a more significant impact in their lives? You getting a high-paying job where you travel a lot and aren't home often, but have plenty of money to pay the bills, treat them to movies, and pay for their college tuition? Or would your dream more significantly be fulfilled by taking on a lower-paying job where you are home more, available to spend time with them creating memories, and allowing them to take on the responsibility of paying their way through school?

Neither of these options is "right" or "wrong", but they will each have a very different results. Each year millions of parents make decisions just like this, and many opt to be financially successful, because they equate having money to being a good parent. They were brought up, perhaps not having a lot of money, and recognize opportunities that they can make available to their kids using money as a tool.

For another example, let's say that since you started your marketing firm, your dream has been to help home-based businesses reach their market expansion dreams. Like all marketing and media firms, you are bombarded with opportunities to win awards and prestigious recognition for the work you do. The issue is that in order to win the awards and gain much desired exposure, you must alter the way you do business.

Will you continue to run your business in a way that significantly impacts the lives and futures of your clients? Or will you choose to chase the images of success that lie in awards and recognition? Is it possible to do both and still fulfill upon your mission?

If your dreams are a classroom, significance is the genuine learning experience, and success is a standardized test. While you are experiencing true learning and growth, you might learn what you need to ace the test, but when you teach only for the test, you miss out on a lot of wonderful experiences that aren't related to the final exam.

Under Their Thumb

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Some of my clients have come to me feeling like their worlds were not under their own control. They felt as though everyone else ran their lives and had some aspect of control in everything that they did. I asked them to note some specific situations in which they felt this way and how they felt "out of control" of the situation. It's interesting to note that in every circumstance, there was some aspect of "guilt" or "second-guessing" involved. Indeed, these are the purest signs of self-relinquished control.

There are many ways that people can feel "loss of control" in their lives. We can lose control through frustration and burn-out, living in a rut, stagnation, illness, change, and trauma. However, one of the most common is unconsciously giving up control to others. This is an unconscious act involving two or more parties where party "A" literally hands over the reins to party "B".

At one time, "parental voices" controlled and molded our lives. These are the voices and rules provided by authority, family, and friends from whom our core belief systems evolved. However, some external influences and people can re-engage that basic instinct for seeking parental acceptance simply by imposing doubt into your world. By accepting the guilt or self-doubt imposed by others, you begin to live in someone else's "context". You surrender your own belief systems and adopt those of the other party. In doing so, you begin to live by the rules and controls of the other person.

One of the more common areas in which this occurs is in a professional or group setting where power and control are part of the environment. Many politically savvy individuals ("A") will take control of others ("B") simply by learning their ways, gaining their trust, and then embedding doubt or a feeling of non-acceptance. In this way, "A" is now subconsciously seen as the parental figure and "B" requires acceptance from "A". "A" is now in control of "B". Over time, "B" grows to feel animosity towards "A", but is usually unsure why except for the fact that "B" doesn't like the way that "A" treats them.

Once you fall into this situation, it is difficult to break free. You have to go through and undo the web of emotions and doubt that now clouds your thinking. However, you have to realize that it's not so much how "A" treats you as it is how you feel about your view of their treatment. By separating your ego and emotions from the situation, you are better able to break free from the reins of self-relinquished control. But, it's not so much that they have explicit control over you as it is that you are merely seeking their acceptance. It's an interesting situation to observe!

The best way to prevent such situations from occurring is to go through your own psyche and find out which "parental voices" are still present and dislodge them. You need to replace the old, worn out parental triggers with your own rules for your evolving belief systems. Of course, we usually just leave these voices where they are out of comfort and because they seem to work. However, these are triggers that can be tripped to cause us to fall into this loss-of-control scenario.

I recall one young man who, once he finished college, simply hung out in a local pub. He could not figure out what to do with his life. His parents had passed on, he had no other relatives around, so he just "waited" for anyone and anything that tripped his triggers. Because of this, he ended up in trouble from time to time because he was easily misled by people who gave him what he wanted --- acceptance and direction. After much work and planning, he began to move forward in his life and is slowly becoming a success in his own right. But, as you can see, these types of situations are very common and can occur just about anytime to anyone. I've also seen such issues occur with abused women, corporations, and myriad other inter-personal situations. People tend to sit and wait for acceptance and guidance from others because they relinquished control.

Live your own life by replacing these triggers with your own rules for living. You will never obtain acceptance from everyone as the rest of the world is out seeking acceptance as well. It's a never-ending cycle! Learn to accept yourself as, in the long run, you are the only person who has a stake in your own decisions and endeavors for a self-fulfilling life.