Your Brain is a fantastic piece of craftsmanship. Its ability to process and store information couldn't possibly be contested by even the most advanced computers, now or in the future. It's so advanced, it seems, that it needs no real help from "You" to run your life. It issues reactions to your environment by reaching into its vast memory, going through all kinds of calculations, and producing the best action.
How does it determine the best action? Well, generally, that is a result of the experiences you have had up until the moment of the decision. You see, the brain kicks into gear when you are born. It's Grand Purpose…Self Preservation. It needs to keep you alive. To do that, it must make sure that you are equipped to handle the world around you. It takes in everything and tries to breakdown all it stores into categories and groups. Good, Bad, Likes, Dislikes. Basically, it creates boxes and labels them; then organizes events, circumstances, objects into these boxes. It also has reactive behaviours stored in connection with these boxes.
As these boxes and their contents increase, we have more and more defined reactions to life. Long after the incidents that cause the addition of objects to boxes, the references remain. Result -- our attitudes towards certain things are formed. We don't truly remember why, whether the reason is valid or not. We just accept that "I like that person" or "This makes me uneasy". Or course there are loads of situations that we react to, based on intuition etc. The point is that there are also loads that we have no input whatsoever into how the brain has chosen its reaction, at least not anymore.
Soon, these boxes start to determine your state of mind. You are no longer in control. Your brain has it filed away somewhere that since your football coach thinks you suck, the greatest possibility is that you do suck. More importantly, this situation is in the "Sad Things" box. And this box has certain reactions linked with it…inadequacy, sadness, depression, anger (No doubt, because the same situation crosses into the "Angry Things" box somewhere along the line). So, surprise, surprise, you are sad! And if it rains or is cloudy…that's another item for the "Sad Things" box to accentuate the situation. It's not really your fault you see. It's the box!
The Brain has taken over. Most of us are on Auto-Pilot. You have to take control back. You need to be there to catch that pre-defined action that the brain throws out at you. You can then choose not to react accordingly. Those boxes have to be purposefully emptied so you can start to see things anew again.
This is a tough task. You have been this way all your life. In trying, you will meet with fierce opposition from your mind. You cannot win this battle my friend. You can, however, see the actions the brain presents in a different light. These actions are simply recommendations. More and more you can catch yourself react to things that happen around you. As you become more "aware", you stop yourself from proceeding with the directed action, and "respond" in your chosen way. This is how you can start to deprogram.