Tag Archives: Motivation

Impossible is Just a Word

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Everyone, at some point of his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody special, somebody big. Who hasn't fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn't dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich, or successful, or happy with our relationships?

Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.

This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.

But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.

The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can't do this. It's too hard. It's too impossible. No one can do this.

However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.

Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.

On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.

If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.

Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’

Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’

As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’

As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.

You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.

Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.

On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.

Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.

Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is as true as it can be.

So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.

Steps to Think Positively

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Many a times, you may have heard people saying you to think in a positive note to get the outcome of things right. You may have wondered how to think positively when circumstances show negativity. To say, positive thinking depends on the practice and willingness to do so. Here are some steps that can help you to think positively even if you are a negative minded person.

First, every day when you get up in the morning, read or listen to some quotes related to positive thinking. Listening makes a greater impact than reading. You can hear these quotes in television and radio. You can also download them from the Internet. They are available in plenty over the web. In addition, you can always keep a book with you to read it any time throughout the day you want to. This is the first and basic to follow to bring about an optimistic attitude to you.

Second is always to speak in a positive tone. For instance, instead of saying, “The glass is half empty”, say, “The glass is half full”. This throws a positive impact on the listener’s mind and he or she gets the confidence to proceed further with challenges. Keep hope and believe in yourself to make a difference to your attitude. This works in favor of optimism.

Instead of accusing others or yourself for some failed work, take the responsibility to get out of the situation and achieve success. Blaming only lead to more failures, negativity and fear in yourself. Therefore, take the stride as to why the things went haywire and seek the solution to reorder things once more. The faster you learn to do this, the greater things will start happening in your favor.

Do not let negative emotions surround you. For example, you may have failed in your exam. It is definite that you will get upset and be in a morose state for many days. However, you have to avoid being in a morose state and think positively as to why you have failed. Analyze the reason behind your failure, create a new strategy to move forward, and start working on it from the next day. Think that the failure might have done some god to you. You get to learn much more than the others do. Instead of passing out this year with little marks, it is better to pass off the next year with excellence.

Thus, these are few strategies to make you from a pessimistic person to optimistic person.

The Half-Full Glass and Positive People

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Do you know a person who always seems happy and positive about themselves and life in general? They never seem to have a problem and seem to be able to deal with things in life with composure and grace. Do you wish you were more like them and able to deal with your life circumstances like they do?

These people have a way of seeing life as being the “half full glass” where even if things are going very wrong, they find something positive in it to focus on. This way of viewing life is natural for some people, but for the majority of people who use this approach to life, it is a learned response. It results from making an intention to look at the positive and not to dwell on the negative and then practicing doing this.

Sounds easy when it’s on paper, but in the reality of life, it’s usually not. How do people learn to focus on the half-full glass and not the half-empty one and remain positive? It’s not easy to be thankful when faced with difficult circumstances. However, practicing gratitude help us deal with all but the most difficult experiences we may face in our lives. It is the key to the optimism that we see in the positive person we admire so much.

When we complain all the time, we can quickly lose our perspective. Yes, the tradesperson may have taken hours to complete a job that another tradesperson may have completed in much less time, but before we complain at the bill, consider the work quality between the two. Maybe our concern is justified, but if the work produced is superior in quality, then maybe the extra time was justified?

Half glass full thinking seeks to clarify a situation before complaining about it. It asks whether a complaint will make the situation better or worse and if it will help to resolve the issue. In most cases, the answer to both these questions is no! On those occasions where it is justified, then we should do something about it. A clear perspective on the situation can help us to resolve an otherwise irresolvable problem. Maintaining an attitude of gratitude helps us maintain a positive perspective on most things that happen in our life. It helps to keep the glass half-full even in the most difficult of circumstances.

When the Odds are Stacked Against You

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Staying positive and goal-oriented is very easy to do when the going is good. The true winners in life are the people who can persist when times are tough and it seems the whole world seems to be totally against them. The real question is, how do you keep moving forward when the odds seem to be stacked up against you?

The first thing to realize when you are in this kind of situation is that EVERY person who has ever accomplished something of significance, was faced with a similar situation. This is a guarantee. The wealthy business person was broke and inexperienced at some point. The olympic gold medal winner was slow and clumsy in the beginning. The stage performer was in a low budget show forgetting her lines.

Some people must face greater hardships than others but no one is immune to it. And this is really the key to this lesson. If you are in a situation right now where it seems like quitting or defeat are your only options, here are some ideas you can use to drive yourself forward and keep going. Go to school on your leaders. No matter what you are trying to achieve, there is someone in the world who has very likely done it before.

Success leaves clues so your job is to become the investigator. Find out what made these other people successful. More importantly, learn about their hardships and how they triumphed when the odds were stacked against them. Then...realize that you have the exact same abilities as that other person providing you are willing to do the things that person did. Put it in perspective. A great example is someone starting out in business for themselves. Most businesses experience a pretty rocky road in their first few years. This also happens to be the period of time when many business owners give up. But when you put it in perspective, the hardships you are facing at the start of your venture likely pail in comparison to people with real challenges.

There are people struggling with addiction, physical handicap, family breakup and so on. There are people in these situations who maintain a positive outlook and still make the best of their life. If they can do it with severe problems, you can do it with relatively minor problems. Ask ask ask. There is the old saying ask and it shall be given. The saying contains a powerful truth. People who have become good at asking for what they want and need in life, tend to get more help from others.

When the odds are stacked against you, regardless of what you are trying to accomplish, there are people out there who will be willing to help if you ask them. If you are in need of help with money, resources, support, exposure or anything else, ASK. Ask a lot of people. Ask with conviction. Ask with passion. If you ask enough people...you WILL find the support. The key thing to remember in this whole discussion is that you are an achiever. If at any point in your life, the odds are stacked against you and success seems like a distant dream, you are doing something RIGHT. This is a sign of your courage, determination and persistence.

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Why Re-invent the Light bulb?

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Have you ever had a problem with a burned light? Thanks to the effort of Thomas Edison we no longer need to invent a light bulb. We just go to the store or our cupboard and pull one out and screw it in. Voila! Light!

I am sure you realize that it took Thomas Edison many, many tries before he perfected the light bulb. Someone asked him one day if he grew discouraged by his failures. He answered, "I haven't failed, I've discovered one more way how not to make a light bulb".

You see, there is no such thing as failure, there are only results. Someone once said that the definition of Insanity is to do something over and over again and get the same results.

In order for our life to work properly we need to make some changes to the things we are doing.

Just like a light can burn out, so can we. Life can become dark and depressing and we feel there is no light, no hope in sight. It's a fairly dismal picture for sure.

Let me shine some light on this situation (pun intended). When we are feeling so low and deep in the pits, this is when we need light to see our way through. Some of us are lucky enough to have some light on hand, others must go out and retrieve it.

Many people try and invent light for themselves by thinking positive thoughts but it only takes them so far. It only gives so much light. There is more light available but people are at a quandary as to how to obtain it.

We don't have to be like Thomas Edison and keep looking at the problem and thinking of ways to solve them.

For every problem there is a Solution.

How do we find the solution? We can try, as we said, to try and figure it out by ourselves, or we can find someone who has already surpassed this obstacle and do what they did.

There are many books on the market today that can help us to understand how to overcome the obstacles in our lives. We need to read and learn from the failures of other people. They have been through it all before and can help to teach us how to go through it now. There have been great thinkers in our history and we are fortunate enough to have their trail to follow.

We all need more light in our life. Sometimes we can't see the light at the end of the tunnel but there is always hope and help.

Learn how others have overcome their challenges and keep that education inside of you so that when you are feeling low and life looks dim, you can pull out those resources to help you light up your life again.

Don't try to re-invent the light bulb, Learn how to carry the light within yourselves.

 

 

7 Steps To Break (or Make) A Habit

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We all have habits, some good and some not so good. These are behaviors that we've learned and that occur almost automatically. And most of us have a habit we'd like to break, or one we'd like to develop.

For most people, it takes about four weeks for a new behavior to become routine, or habit. The following steps can make it easier to establish a new behavior pattern.

1. The first step is to set your goal. Especially when you are trying to stop or break a habit, you should try to phrase your goal as a positive statement. For example, instead of saying "I will quit snacking at night", say "I will practice healthy eating habits". You should also write down your goal. Commiting it to paper helps you to commit. It can also help if you tell your goal to someone you trust.

2. Decide on a replacement behavior. (If your goal is to develop a new habit then your replacement behavior will be the goal itself.) This step is very important when you are trying to break a habit. If you want to stop a behavior, you must have a superior behavior to put in it's place. If you don't, the old behavior pattern will return.

3. Learn and be aware of your triggers. Behavior patterns don't exist independently. Often, one habit is associated with another part of your regular routine. For instance, in the snacking example the trigger may be late night television or reading. You automatically grab a bag of chips while you watch. Many people who smoke automatically light up after eating. Think about when and why you do the thing you want to quit.

4. Post reminders to yourself. You can do this by leaving yourself notes in the places where the behavior usually occurs. Or you can leave yourself a message on the mirror, refrigerator, computer monitor or some other place where you will see it regularly. You can also have a family member or co-worker use a particular phrase to remind you of your goal.

5. Get help and support from someone. This is kind of obvious. Any job is easier with help. It works even better if you can form a partnership with someone who shares the same goal.

6. Write daily affirmations. Write your phrase or sentence in the present tense (as if it were already happening), and write it ten times a day for twenty-one days. This process helps make your goal a part of your subconscious, which will not only remind you to practice the new behavior, but it also keeps you focused and motivated.

7. Reward yourself for making progress at set time intervals. Focus on your goal one day at a time, but give yourself a small treat at one, three and six months. The rewards don't have to be big or expensive, and you should try to make it something that's associated in some way with the goal. Doing this provides you with both incentive and extra motivation.
Following these steps is no guarantee of success of course. Depending on the habit it may take several tries to finally make the change. But if you stick with it, you can do it. Good Luck.

 

 

Winner’s Gold from Personal Garbage

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Have you noticed how everybody takes it for granted a bad experience is automatically, unreservedly, unremittingly bad? That nothing good could ever come from a bad childhood, for example?

I'm hearing the comment more and more often that we have become a victim society. Maybe this is true? Consider...

Don't we hear these comments a lot? I was mistreated when I was a child... I was a lonely latchkey kid... My ancestors got a bad break, so I'm... I lived in a poor, disadvantaged family... I grew up in a broken home... I didn't get the proper advantages... I was constantly criticized as a child...

Every one of these comments sounds a lot like self-pity, like "I can't be helped because I've been scarred beyond reclaim."

Well, maybe all of the bare facts are true, but isn't it time to start looking for the positives that are buried in all that negative stuff?

Example: I was mistreated when I was a child... ...and as a result, I learned to be a survivor and to resist all efforts to crush my spirit. Sure I had some hard times back then, but now, I'm both tough and sensitive. I didn't learn self esteem then, but I've learned it as an adult, and I understand people better for it.

Example: I was a latchkey kid... ...and everyone treated me like an abandoned orphan. But it was great. My dad and mom fought all the time, so coming home to a quiet house was a wonderful break, and I loved it.

See what I'm getting at here?

You have the right to take any piece of your personal history and reinterpret it to your advantage rather than to your detriment. You can find ways to turn your past to your own good.

Studies have shown that many children who grow up insecure tend to be unusually self-reliant as adults.

You don't HAVE to be filled with resentment, anger or helplessness. You COULD choose to feel something more pleasant, at least part of the time. And if you did choose to feel better about yourself, what do you think the result might be?

Did you know this is what many of the most successful people do? If they have a terrible experience, they simply turn it this way and that till they find a new aspect to emphasize. One that makes them feel better about themselves.

Don't believe me? Go read any great person's biography. It's almost a given that winners only become winners after overcoming huge difficulties. And they overcome because they keep trying, keep learning how to control their own thinking until they get good at it.

So if you've got anything -- ANYTHING AT ALL -- in your past that drags you down, angers you or depresses you, you have the right to look at it more closely. You can find more than garbage in your past. There's gold in your history, too. And all you've got to do is learn to look for it.

 

 

You as THE Authority Figure

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She stands at the front of the room exuding confidence.

Your companion leans over and whispers, "Remember when she was just another newbie? We all started out together, and back then, she didn't know any more than you or me, but look at her now!"

And you have to admit, she seems born to instruct -- or command. Fielding questions without a flicker of nervousness, explaining fine points with such personal assurance that no one questions her expertise. A natural leader.

Of course, in the back of your mind there's still a touch of reserve. She's not explaining anything you couldn't. But you have to admit, she just seems so doggone comfortable up there, so natural. So in-command of herself and the room.

Her confidence, however, which today seems so sure and unshakable, was almost certainly cast in a crucible of the same insecurities and self doubts you face every day.

In other words, that natural leader was made, not born.

Ever ask yourself why so many giant corporations invest so much money in books, tapes, seminars and coaching to train their people in leadership? Obviously there are many more slots for leaders than there are people to fill them. It's also obvious those huge companies aren't waiting around for enough leaders to be born. They create their own supply.

But that is only the first step in what we'll be talking about here.

Someone who rises to become an authority figure in any field, what are they but a leader -- an opinion leader. Furthermore, if they can manage to get themselves accepted as a leader in their industry, you could do the same thing.

We know that certain life experiences tend to spontaneously develop leadership qualities. If you have children, your parents probably watched as the birth of your firstborn threw you headlong into an exciting, scary new job -- raising a baby.

Remember that first child, and how uncertain you were during your initial few weeks as a new parent?

Now fast-forward two or three more kids. You are now a seasoned pro. You've become increasingly confident as you've carried out the daily routine of being a mother or father. Of course you're so close to the day-to-day experience that you may not have noticed the growth happening. You may still feel unsure and insecure inside. But ask your parents if they've seen any change in you.

Parenting, however, is not the only role that will stretch you. Any new role will cause you to grow, to expand your capabilities and your skills. Eventually you'll gain increased confidence in your ability to get the job done.

As you fill any new role, you gradually gain a certainty about your actions and decisions that you were lacking when you began.

Where does that confidence come from? In the case of parenting, it nearly always begins from years of observing your own parents and those of your friends. You model what you have seen.

Then stir in a lot of on-the-job training. You practice being a parent by doing the work, making the decisions, handling the crises, being right in the middle of it, day in and day out. You learn by making your share of mistakes, surviving them, correcting course and continuing on, a bit wiser for every wrong or right turn.

To your kids, you're (more or less) the boss. And you gained that stature simply by wading in and doing it. You made some goofups along the way, of course, but you also learned from most of them, so now you carry a degree of self assurance as you manage your family.

Within the small community of the family group, you are an authority figure.

Now let's take that principle and put it to work in your career. Given a little time and some concentrated effort, we can actually make you an authority figure on any subject, in literally any community -- professional or social -- by going through the same kind of process a new parent faces.

You simply dive in and start functioning at a level you think is over your head. You force yourself to stretch.

You can take specific steps to drill into yourself a belief that you're capable of doing the job. Those steps take you to where you begin seeing yourself as an authority.

There are similar steps that will implant your name uppermost in other people's minds. You do the things that authority figures do, and people will see you as the role you take on. Do this for a while, and soon the population around you will fully accept the face you show them.

If you specialize in widget tuning, for instance, we can train people to think of you -- and only you -- anytime the subject of widget tuning comes up.

We won't go into the steps in depth here. It's more important for you to develop an intense awareness that YOU can do this.

Bob Bly, in his book "Become a Recognized Authority in Your Field in 60 Days or Less," says:

"[Certain] people are gurus -- recognized authorities in their fields. Because of their guru status, they enjoy greater visibility and reputation than their peers, not to mention more success, income, and wealth.

"But they are gurus not because they are more talented or successful, or because their performance and track record are superior.... Instead, they gained their guru status through self-promotion and publicity. That is, they are gurus not because they are great at what they do, but because they are great at selling and marketing themselves and what they do."

Clearly, technical expertise is important. But that is not the crucial factor in this arena.

Your field -- whether widget tuning or nuclear physics -- will have many superbly qualified experts. But the most technically qualified person may not have the temperament or personal qualities to be THE guru or authority figure.

So what am I getting at, with all this talk about gurus and industry leaders? It should be obvious, but in case it's not, let's spell it out.

To become a technical whiz in your field, you study the technical stuff. Do that long enough and intensely enough, and you become an expert's expert.

But if you yearn to become a highly visible spokesman, an authority figure in your industry, you'll need to study and practice other skills. Skills like those outlined by Bly in his book. These include:
* Writing articles
* Writing books
* Producing and selling information products
* Publishing a newsletter or ezine
* Making speeches
* Giving seminars
* Conducting a public relations campaign
* Using the Internet

You'll notice that all of these avenues involve words and information to promote your visibility, accessibility and credibility.

Two final steps in Bly's outline are:
* Achieve critical mass, and
* Maintain guru status

These entail building and keeping your momentum through a steady program. In a word, persistence. You take these new skills and dive on in, start doing them, even if it feels like you're in over your head -- sort of like the new-parent feeling. And you keep on doing them.

However, when we take the task of becoming an authority figure and break it down into logical steps, it really isn't so complicated. It's only a bit different from the job you're doing now.

Cultivating visibility and public awareness -- why, that sounds like plain old marketing, doesn't it? Marketing ourselves as a sort of name brand product.

You're starting to get the picture now, right? Marketing ourselves and becoming recognized, even preferred, over other names is money in the bank.

Which do you think will command higher prices, a dress from Discount Warehouse, or one bearing a designer label from a shop on Rodeo Drive?

Now, there's nothing wrong with serving the Discount Warehouse market, but there's also nothing wrong with serving the upmarket, either.

And it is nice to have a choice. But if you never even consider the option of making yourself a brand name, or authority figure, you don't get a choice. It's Discount Warehouse or nothing.

You know what? Down there at the low end of the market, that's where the bulk of the competition is. There are a thousand discount warehouses selling what you sell.

If you ever want to stop competing with others, and instead let them worry about competing with you, consider making yourself known by everybody in your market.

Create visibility and become a recognized authority, a spokesman, maybe even a guru of sorts.

Then, instead of you having to chase clients, the game switches around, and the clients come looking for you.

Seems like a nice way to live, doesn't it?

 

6 Ways To Overcome Shyness And Gain Confidence

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Are you shy? Do you have difficulty coping with people or situations? Then I have good news for you. You do not have to suffer from shyness and you should not feel insecure and fear that you are being judged with every step you take.

Winning the war with shyness takes practice, but is definitely well worth the effort as the result is increasing confidence and self esteem. Wake up feeling good about yourself, able to face the world with confidence and security and the knowing that no feeling of shyness can come in your way of achieving your desires.

There are hundreds of books written on the subject of how beat shyness and gain confidence, but there are a few techniques that anyone can practice. Here are 6 suggestions of techniques on how to overcome your shyness:

1. Every morning, as soon as you get up, get in front of a mirror and say out loud "I feel terrific! I feel terrific! I feel terrific!" Repeat this affirmation with enthusiasm at least ten times everyday until it's ingrained into your subconscious mind. If feel a little self conscious to begin with lock yourself in the bathroom. The results will amaze you.

2. Feel good about yourself. Look your best. Dress up more often. This gives you an extra feeling of confidence and self esteem. On its own just knowing that you look good will boost your confidence and reinforce with others that there are things about you that are worth getting to know.

3. Take a risk at least once a day. It's very invigorating and conquering fears by taking risks helps you grow in confidence and self esteem. Start with small risks and fears and as you overcome them move onto bigger things. There's nothing you cannot do. Be confident in knowing that change can only help you grow, and boost your self confidence.

4. When you are engaged in a one to one conversation, or with a larger group of people, let them know that you're shy. This prevents them from misreading you and they are far more likely to invite you into the conversation rather than leave you just listening and wishing you could contribute.

Many people, me included, find following a conversation in a noisy room difficult. If you are having difficulty say so and move so that you can hear. People respect honesty, and vulnerability and you will attract more honest people into your life as a result.

5. Rejection is a fact of life that everyone experiences. It is rarely you that is being rejected. If you are rejected, for example if you ask someone for a date, remember that everyone has different likes and dislikes. You may be attracted to one type of person and not others. The same applies to other people and you are probably just not their type. That does not devalue you in any way. Accept this and know that you will get over it. Never take it personally and keep in mind that if people reject you it is because of their own likes and dislikes and not because of who you are. You are equally entitled to reject others because of your likes and dislikes.

6. Engage in an activities that make you feel excited and good about yourself or start a hobby that gives you a feeling of relaxation. This could be anything from gardening to Tai Chi to Karate. Take some lessons, learn or master a musical instrument or take singing lessons. Do something that excites you and take a risk. Exploring things that make you feel excited is a great antidote for shyness.