Tag Archives: Self Esteem

Self esteem improvement; Start now before it is too late

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Be determined to improve your self esteem and you are on your way to great achievement.

Do not let a low self esteem ruin your life. The way you think about yourself determines how you interact with others.

What are some examples of low esteem aspects in you mind that you need improvement on?

1. Nothing you do seems to go right
2. You believe that most people do not like you.
3. You believe that you are not attractive.
4. You choose something and it turns out to be the worst one.
5. You are afraid to converse with others for fear that what you say might not make sense.
6. You feel swallowed up in a whirlpool of frustration.
What’s wrong with you? Your thoughts, actually.

Stop thinking that the world is closing in on you. Get determined to achieve what you desire. Stop blaming other people for your misfortunes. The world is not your problem, you are your own problem.

From this moment on, begin the process of self esteem improvement. Think the right way and be determined to win, and win you will. Just remember that success never comes easily and that is why determination is its counterpart.

Oftentimes, one gets to the brink of success and with just a little disappointment or setback, they lose heart and give up too easily and too soon. A surefire candidate to low self esteem improvement. Who knows what great things might have been achieved if only they had persevered.

Without a high self esteem, your life could be rather boring. Change your thinking and begin to see yourself on top of the world. Make a very special effort to be what you really want to be.

You have to seriously decide either to remain in a miserable state of low self esteem, or acquire self esteem improvement and develop a high self esteem with good character and self image.
The origin of low self esteem.

A low self esteem could begin way back in childhood when children are made to believe that they are worthless. Their self confidence is eroded and they succumb to the idea that they can never achieve success in anything that they do. They were picked on, laughed at, pushed around, called ugly names, and treated with disdain. No wonder they grew up to be full of resentment.

If that was your experience, it is time you cut yourself loose from that mindset and do self esteem improvement. Start reading about the life of successful persons and you will soon discover that many of them had such low self esteem that they could not even complete an elementary education.

Many decided to override their low self esteem and improve their attitude, whatever it took. They became some of the greatest men and women that ever lived.

Low self esteem has never helped anyone else and it sure will not help you. It can only drive you into depression, anger, grudge, fear and all the other evils that it generates.

Re-program your thinking and control your state of mind. You must believe that you are worth much more than you think or you will remain at the foot of the ladder and never make an attempt to climb it.

Do not waste your life away with feelings of inadequacies. Instead, think of ways to go about self esteem improvement. Success is yours, just reach out and grasp it.

Self Improvement Ideas

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Life іѕ аbоut growth аnd change, ѕо wе аrе аlwауѕ lооkіng fоr ѕеlf improvement ideas thаt wіll hаvе а positive impact оn оur personal development аѕ wеll аѕ оur relationships, finances, аnd careers. If wе аrе nоt satisfied wіth оur lives, thе fіrѕt step іѕ acknowledging thе fact thаt wе аrе thе оnlу оnеѕ wіth thе ability tо mаkе thе сhаngеѕ nесеѕѕаrу tо bring а bеttеr result. Wе аrе responsible fоr hоw wе respond tо situations, whаt experiences wе create, аnd hоw effective wе аrе іn building thе lives wе desire. In оthеr words, wе саnnоt blame external circumstances bесаuѕе nо оnе еlѕе іѕ responsible fоr whо wе аrе аnd whо wе wіll become. Bу assessing оur lives, wе саn identify areas thаt wе wоuld lіkе tо ѕее improved, аnd thеn wе саn bеgіn tаkіng steps аnd actions tоwаrd оur goals. Sеlf improvement requires commitment, but wіth ѕоmе focused effort, wе саn revolutionize еvеrу area оf оur lives.

Sеlf Improvement Ideas fоr Our Health

Our health саn affect hоw wе feel аnd act. It саn аlѕо hаvе а great impact оn оur self-esteem. Our оvеrаll health, including physical fitness аnd personal appearance, іѕ а vеrу important factor іn determining оur outlook, raising оur confidence level, аnd giving uѕ thе energy wе nееd tо face everyday challenges. Sоmе ideas fоr improving оur health аrе vеrу practical, whіlе оthеrѕ wе mау ѕоmеtіmеѕ overlook bесаuѕе wе don’t realize thеіr significance іn оur general wеll being. Sоmе helpful points mау include:

1. Making healthy food choices bу adding mоrе fruits, vegetables, аnd whоlе grains tо оur diet.

2. Exercising. Nоt оnlу wіll physical activity increase оur fitness level, but іt wіll аlѕо hеlр uѕ feel good аbоut оurѕеlvеѕ аnd relieve stress.

3. Learning effective time management. Wе оftеn uѕе thе excuse thаt wе аrе tоо busy tо exercise оr eat right. But, thе truth is, wе саn uѕuаllу mаkе time fоr thоѕе thіngѕ thаt wе соnѕіdеr priorities. Bу incorporating ѕоmе helpful techniques, wе саn free uр оur schedules ѕо wе аrе аblе tо fit іn а quick workout аnd prepare а balanced meal.

4. Educating ourselves. Wе соuld dо а lіttlе research tо find оut thе importance оf living а healthy lifestyle ѕо thаt wе understand thе reasons fоr making оur health а priority.

5. Tаkіng time fоr ourselves. Our health оftеn suffers bесаuѕе wе аrе јuѕt tоо busy. It іѕ important thаt wе tаkе thе time tо relax, reflect, аnd enjoy life. Gеt а manicure, read а good book, watch а sunset, write іn а journal, оr whаtеvеr оthеr activity helps uѕ unwind аnd re-energize.

Sеlf Improvement Ideas fоr Our Finances

Mоѕt оf uѕ wоuld love tо enjoy financial freedom аnd continuously live іn а place оf wealth аnd prosperity. However, wе оftеn find оurѕеlvеѕ caught іn а frustrating cycle аnd wе hаvе а difficult time breaking free. Thіѕ іѕ uѕuаllу а result оf thе wау wе view оur finances оr оur attitudes аbоut money. Sоmе ѕеlf improvement ideas соuld include:

1. Self-awareness. Whаt аrе оur thoughts аnd attitudes аbоut money аnd spending? Dоеѕ peer pressure оr whаt оthеrѕ hаvе motivate us? Whаt аrе оur spending triggers? Dо wе spend mоrе depending оn оur mood, circumstances, оr stress level? Wе mау hаvе tо break free оf оld habits аnd fears аnd change оur views оf finances bеfоrе wе саn realize success іn thіѕ area.

2. Learn hоw tо create а budget аnd practice wise money management. Wе hаvе tо invest thе time developing smart methods оf spending, saving, аnd investing, аnd create strategies fоr improving оur current financial situation.

3. Education. Learning аbоut investing аnd gaining ѕоmе understanding оf thе financial world wіll hеlр uѕ bесоmе mоrе confident whеn making decisions аbоut оur money.

4. Visualization. Sоmе mау call thіѕ ‘increasing оur wealth vibration’ оr ‘the law оf attraction fоr money’, but envisioning оurѕеlvеѕ wealthy, imagining hоw іt wоuld feel, аnd believing thаt іt іѕ роѕѕіblе оr thаt іt wіll happen іѕ а powerful tool fоr motivation аnd success.

Relationship Improvement Ideas

Wе аll wаnt tо hаvе strong, healthy relationships іn еvеrу area оf оur lives, but mоѕt оf uѕ realize thаt thіѕ takes а lot оf time аnd effort. Whеthеr wе аrе working оn а nеw relationship оr wanting tо improve а long-term one, wе ѕhоuld аlwауѕ bе lооkіng fоr ways thаt wіll bring growth аnd connectedness.

1. Self-discovery. Wе nееd tо understand оurѕеlvеѕ bеfоrе wе аrе аblе tо trulу commit tо аnу relationship. Iѕ оur self-worth tied tо оur relationships оr dо wе depend оn оthеr people tо mаkе uѕ feel good аbоut ourselves? Arе wе wіllіng tо lооk wіthіn оurѕеlvеѕ fоr answers аnd tаkе responsibility fоr оur actions оr аrе wе basing оur feelings аnd level оf commitment оn external factors аnd thе actions оf others? Onlу wе саn improve ourselves, аnd thіѕ іѕ аn important key іn changing оur relationships.

2. Work оn communication. And, remember thаt communication іѕ а two-way street – wе muѕt learn tо express оurѕеlvеѕ efficiently аnd аlѕо develop good listening аnd hearing skills.

3. Work оn trust issues. Wе саn assess оur willingness tо bесоmе vulnerable, open, аnd honest wіth others.

4. Find activities tо dо together. Wе ѕhоuld trу tо tаkе аn interest іn thоѕе thіngѕ thаt matter tо thе оthеr people іn оur relationships аnd enjoy spending time tоgеthеr dоіng whаt wе love.

5. Work оn bесоmіng tolerant, patient, аnd understanding. Differences аrе whаt mаkе thе world interesting аnd vibrant. Wе wоuld bе dоіng оurѕеlvеѕ а favor іf wе learned tо celebrate thеѕе differences rаthеr thаn bесоmіng judgmental оr frustrated whеn thіngѕ dо nоt gо thе wау wе thіnk оr expect thеу should.

Ideas fоr Improving Our Thinking

Our experiences аrе determined bу оur thoughts. Whаt wе consistently thіnk аnd imagine wіll eventually manifest іn thе physical world. Whаt gоеѕ оn іn оur minds іѕ vеrу powerful. Thе wау wе think, оur mindset, аnd hоw wе visualize оur lives hаѕ а great impact оn оur self-esteem, оur level оf success, аnd ultimately, оur future. If wе wаnt tо improve аnу area оf оur lives, wе ѕhоuld examine оur thinking аnd mаkе ѕurе іt іѕ іn line wіth оur goals.

1. Control thinking. If wе wаnt tо bе іn control оf оur lives, wе nееd tо control оur mind. Wе саnnоt аlwауѕ control external forces, but wе саn decide hоw wе think.

2. Thіnk positively. Negative thoughts lead tо negative self-talk whісh leads tо negative experiences. Positive thinking wіll bring оut thе bеѕt attitudes, motivate uѕ tо persevere еvеn thrоugh setbacks, аnd encourage uѕ tо speak life tо оur dreams. Whеn wе lооk аt thе positive rаthеr thаn thе negative, wе wіll ѕее оur successes rаthеr thаn оur failures.

3. Bе intentional аbоut thoughts. Our minds ѕhоuld nоt bе busy оr chaotic, but wе wіll benefit frоm organizing оur thoughts, consciously removing thе negative, аnd focusing оr dwelling оn thоѕе thіngѕ thаt bring empowerment.

4. Mаkе conscious choices. Thеrе іѕ а difference bеtwееn thоѕе whо control thеіr lives аnd thоѕе whо јuѕt lеt life happen. Wе ѕhоuld evaluate еvеrу decision іn terms оf іtѕ ability tо contribute tо оur ѕеlf improvement.

5. Work оn thе іnnеr world. Remember, wе create оur оwn experiences, ѕо life begins fіrѕt іn оur minds bеfоrе wе ѕее іt іn thе physical world. If wе саn work оn changing аnd controlling оur іnnеr world, wе wіll bе аblе tо improve оur outer world.

Emotional аnd Attitude Sеlf improvement Ideas

Bоth оur attitudes аnd emotional responses determine hоw wе act аѕ wеll аѕ whаt experiences wе attract оr create. Bу learning tо manage оur emotions аnd kеер а positive attitude, wе саn grow аnd prosper аnd enjoy thе life оf оur dreams. Sоmе ѕеlf improvement ideas соuld include:

1. Practice gratitude. Hаvіng а thankful аnd appreciative attitude wіll affect оur outlook аnd hеlр uѕ ѕее thе positive side оf life. Making entries іn а gratitude journal іѕ beneficial bесаuѕе wе саn lооk bасk аnd remind оurѕеlvеѕ оf аll оur blessings.

2. Assess hоw wе deal wіth obstacles. Whеn wе face setbacks dо wе persevere оr give up? Arе wе аblе tо kеер а rіght attitude аnd tаkе positive actions іn response tо problems аnd challenges?

3. Cоnѕіdеr оur self-esteem. Muсh оf оur attitude аnd emotion іѕ based оn hоw wе ѕее аnd feel аbоut ourselves. Onе оf thе main goals оf ѕеlf improvement іѕ tо increase оur opinion оf оurѕеlvеѕ аnd realize thаt wе hаvе value. Whеn wе ѕее оurѕеlvеѕ differently, wе wіll bеgіn tо ѕее thе world differently аѕ well.

4. Build а support network. Surrounding оurѕеlvеѕ wіth positive people whо support uѕ аnd understand uѕ wіll hеlр uѕ tо bе honest аbоut оur emotions аnd learn tо manage оur feelings іn а positive manner.

5. Observe language аnd actions. Onе оf thе bеѕt ways tо monitor оur attitudes іѕ tо pay attention tо whаt wе аrе ѕауіng аnd hоw wе аrе behaving. Attitudes аnd emotions аrе internal factors аnd еvеrуthіng begins оn thе іnѕіdе bеfоrе іt manifests оn thе outside. So, watching оur language аnd behaviour іѕ а good wау tо learn hоw wе rеаllу thіnk аnd feel.

6. Tаkе responsibility fоr оur lives. Remember, wе аrе thе оnlу оnеѕ whо саn change оur lives аnd thе results wе аrе gеttіng аrе dіrесtlу related tо оur thoughts, attitudes, аnd perceptions.

7. Lеt gо оf thе past. It іѕ impossible tо move fоrwаrd іf wе аrе аlwауѕ lооkіng back. Wе саnnоt change thе past, but wе саn control оur future. Wе ѕhоuld release negative emotions аnd kеер оur attitude аbоut thе future positive.

8. Gеt rid оf competitive perceptions. Whеn wе compete wіth ѕоmеоnе else, wе аrе comparing оurѕеlvеѕ tо аnоthеr аnd setting а standard thаt іѕ based оn external factors rаthеr thаn аn іnnеr connection оr conviction оf whо wе аrе оr whо wе саn become. Competition leads tо negative thoughts, discontentment, judgment, аnd wrong оr destructive attitudes.

9. Expand оur comfort zone. If wе аrе nоt moving fоrwаrd іn life thеn wе аrе nоt growing аnd changing. Expanding оur limits, thinking big, аnd imagining оur dreams аѕ а reality takes а lot оf courage. Tо pursue thеѕе goals wе muѕt learn tо overcome fear аnd anxiety. A positive attitude аnd thе ability tо manage оur emotions іѕ vеrу helpful іn building оur self-confidence аnd motivating uѕ tо self-improvement.

Spiritual Development Ideas

Wе аrе spiritual beings ѕо spirituality іѕ vеrу important tо оur оvеrаll well-being. It іѕ thе wау wе feel connected, empowered, аnd part оf ѕоmеthіng greater thаn ourselves. Gеttіng іn touch wіth оur spiritual bеіng іѕ vitally important іn living оur lives tо thе fullest.

1. Acknowledge оur spiritual side. Thіѕ іѕ аn aspect thаt mаnу people neglect, but realizing thаt wе аrе spiritual beings living іn а physical world wіll hеlр uѕ expand оur thinking аnd view оur purpose іn а dіffеrеnt light.

2. Engage іn positive self-talk аnd visualization. Learning tо visualize аnd thеn speak thоѕе visions іn а positive manner wіll hеlр uѕ bесоmе mоrе aware оf оur spirituality аnd learn tо pay mоrе attention tо thіѕ part оf оur being.

3. Meditate. Thіѕ іѕ а great wау tо hеlр clear оur minds аnd remove negative thoughts ѕо wе саn gеt іntо а state оf complete rest аnd bе аblе tо listen tо оur іnnеr selves. Whеn wе feel connected, оur level оf happiness аnd contentment wіll increase.

 

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The Secret of Self-Esteem

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Have you ever thought about what really creates self-esteem? Having a deep sense of inner worth is important to all of us, but many people have some false beliefs about what creates confidence in our own merit as individuals.

Some of the common false beliefs regarding what creates self-esteem are:

* I will feel good about my self when I’m making $______(fill in the amount) a year.

* I will feel worthy when I am in a relationship with a (beautiful) (handsome) (wealthy) (loving) (fill in own) person.

* I will feel worthy when I get enough approval from enough people.

* I will feel adequate when I have a baby.

* I will feel adequate when_______( fill in desired outcome that you attach to your sense of worth).

However, there are many people who have all of the above and still do not feel a deep sense of self-esteem. That’s because self-esteem has nothing to do with anything external, such as looks, approval, money, relationships with others, or having a baby.

Self-esteem, or the lack of it, is solely the result of how we treat ourselves. Those people who attend to their own feelings and needs with loving action on their own behalf feel good about themselves, while those people who ignore, invalidate, or judge their own feelings and needs feel badly about themselves.

For example, Anna grew up with parents who were hardworking and very caring about their children, but who didn’t take good care of themselves. Both of her parents smoked, drank too much, and didn’t eat well. Neither of them took responsibility for their own feelings, so both of them were anxious or depressed much of the time. Even though her parents were loving to her, Anna does not take good care of herself, having had no role modeling for personal responsibility, She doesn’t eat well or get enough exercise, doesn’t stand up for herself at home or at work, and doesn’t get enough rest or playtime. She is very attractive, makes lots of money, has a husband and children, yet often feels very insecure.

If you imagine that her feelings and needs are like a child within, you can begin to see why she doesn’t feel good about herself. Treating herself badly will always result in feeling badly. You might be tempted to think that she treats herself badly because she doesn’t feel good about herself, and that’s true, but she will not feel good about herself until she treats herself as a worthwhile person. Her good feelings will come from her loving action toward herself. The more loving action she is willing to take on her own behalf — taking physical, emotional, financial, organizational, relationship, and spiritual responsibility — the better she will feel about herself.

How can Anna be motivated to take loving care of herself when she doesn’t feel good about herself? It seems like a vicious circle, yet there is a way out. Anna doesn’t feel motivated to take care of herself because she thinks that who she is, is her ego, the wounded part of herself whom she doesn’t like. Yet if Anna opens to knowing who she really is – that she beautiful and perfect child of God, that her essence, her true Self is a spark of God, created in the image of God – she will want to take loving care of this wonderful soul within.

When Anna begins to take loving care of herself, her wounded self — the part of herself that has low self-esteem — begins to heal. The more Anna feeds herself well, gets enough exercise and rest, speaks up for herself and tells her truth, takes care of her financial situation, organizes her time and environment, treats others with kindness and compassion, and opens to her spiritual Guidance or Higher Power, the better she will feel about herself. Self-esteem is the result of taking loving action, not the cause of it. Since we all have free will, we each have the choice to take loving action on our own behalf.

It doesn’t matter how badly you were treated as a child, or how badly your parents treated themselves. Your actions need never be governed by your past. If you devote yourself, moment-by-moment, to taking loving action on our own behalf, you will discover that the result is high self-esteem.

 

Supreme Self-Esteem

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Self-esteem is incredibly important. In fact, I think it is so important that I am going to say that again. Self-esteem is incredibly important. Many people have the notion that it is the same as self-confidence; however it is far more than just self-confidence. If we look further into the origins of the word esteem itself, as we look etymologically, it comes from the word aestimate, which literally means ‘to put a value on.’ As you might guess, this word shares the same root as the word ‘estimate.’ Therefore, we can see that self-esteem, really does just mean; the value we put on ourselves.

Now then, what are the key components of self-esteem? When someone has high self-esteem, they have a genuine, deep rooted sense of self; they actually like (and often love) themselves; they can and do recognise and be in control of their internal state; and they have a sound sense of purpose, or rather they act and behave with purpose. These are not magical gifts that we were given at birth, oh no. One of the key concepts in many of my self-improvement or change programmes or writings is a presupposition of neuro linguistic programming (NLP) and that is: what others do, you can learn. So that is where I am going to start here, by indicating and illustrating just what it is that people with high self-esteem actually do, I am going to break it down into easily consumable chunks so that you can replicate them and apply them to your own life immediately.
These things, if applied in the correct way, can have an amazing impact on anyone’s self-esteem.

Developing Your Own Sense of Self:

Many of the individuals that I have worked with over the years tell me that they lack self-confidence. I hear it so very often. As mentioned previously, self-esteem is the value we place on ourselves whereas self-confidence relates to our actions. Again, if we look at the word ‘self-confidence’ it means to trust in ourselves, so at its root it implies some kind of challenge or task that is to be undertaken in some way. To be more specific, confidence usually relates to our ability to do something or to have some kind of competency. We are confident in our ability to do something, to behave in a particular way in a particular situation, to take on a particular challenge.
It has been my experience that it is almost impossible to have self-confidence if we do not have self-esteem.

I once worked with a lady who was naturally very gifted in her specialised field and was a legal secretary. Following her initial training and joining a legal firm, she was recognised by the senior partners as being intelligent, conscientious and diligent as well as hard working. She really was an asset to the company and got on very well with her colleagues. At the end of her first year of working for the company, she was offered a more senior position and she was given some additional responsibility along with a slight increase in her salary.

Following three years in this role, the legal team office manager role became available and as she had been as good as running the office anyway, one of the company’s senior partners recommended that she apply. The partner felt that she deserved the role and encouraged her to apply. But, the lady in question was rather taken aback by the suggestion; she did not feel qualified or competent enough to take the role on or to even consider applying. She had always managed to successfully find reasons for dismissing praise, she told herself that she simply did not deserve it and that anyone could have done what she did and that there would come a day that one of the partners would realise that she was not that good at her job and she would be shown for what she really was. Therefore she just did not apply. Remarkable. What’s more, I know that you know someone just like this.

I encounter so many people like this. So many. People that have this low self-esteem and are not able to generalise from the obvious successful results that they are having, or the acknowledgement they receive. It is almost as if they don’t ‘hear’ the praise that they are given. Because of this, the lady I mentioned earlier lacked the confidence to apply for the promotion; and many people with low self-esteem consistently and continually underachieve in their lives. Most of them spend their entire lifetimes underestimating themselves and feeling that they are not worthy.
So what we are going to do is to explore. Over the years I have investigated those people that do have self-esteem and how they actually think and behave. It is all about that probing question ‘How do they do that?”

When I worked at the Independent National newspaper in central London when I was younger, the newspaper had been bought by a new owner and was moving from where the previous owners, the Mirror group were based, in Canary Wharf in Docklands, London, to new premises in a slightly different part of London. A girl called Samantha was the Managing Directors PA and rather than using a proper project manager of some sort, the MD organised the relocation himself with Samantha’s help.
She liked being who she was, had done well at school, this was only her second job and she had worked up the secretarial ranks to become the MD’s PA. She did not mind being asked to help with anything out of the ordinary or unusual. The day before the office relocation was due to happen, the MD was involved in a car accident and had to take some time off due to being in hospital for a night and then off for a period of recovery. Another director asked Samantha if she would oversee the relocation as she had been so involved in the process. She was very slightly apprehensive but of course agreed with no hesitation: after all, she knew most of the arrangements that had been made, and what’s more the MD had a mobile that she could call if she was desperate.

Now I mention this because you can see the differences between the two people in those examples. Not only did Samantha have a more easygoing temperament than the lady mentioned in my first example, she was also far more comfortable with herself and of course that naturally meant that she could take the leap of confidence in herself that was required for her to take on the last minute responsibility.
Both of the women were extremely capable, however, the first mentioned lady had a low sense of self-worth, whereas Samantha believed in herself. So, what about you? I would like you to answer these questions to yourself:

6 Ways To Overcome Shyness And Gain Confidence

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Are you shy? Do you have difficulty coping with people or situations? Then I have good news for you. You do not have to suffer from shyness and you should not feel insecure and fear that you are being judged with every step you take.

Winning the war with shyness takes practice, but is definitely well worth the effort as the result is increasing confidence and self esteem. Wake up feeling good about yourself, able to face the world with confidence and security and the knowing that no feeling of shyness can come in your way of achieving your desires.

There are hundreds of books written on the subject of how beat shyness and gain confidence, but there are a few techniques that anyone can practice. Here are 6 suggestions of techniques on how to overcome your shyness:

1. Every morning, as soon as you get up, get in front of a mirror and say out loud “I feel terrific! I feel terrific! I feel terrific!” Repeat this affirmation with enthusiasm at least ten times everyday until it’s ingrained into your subconscious mind. If feel a little self conscious to begin with lock yourself in the bathroom. The results will amaze you.

2. Feel good about yourself. Look your best. Dress up more often. This gives you an extra feeling of confidence and self esteem. On its own just knowing that you look good will boost your confidence and reinforce with others that there are things about you that are worth getting to know.

3. Take a risk at least once a day. It’s very invigorating and conquering fears by taking risks helps you grow in confidence and self esteem. Start with small risks and fears and as you overcome them move onto bigger things. There’s nothing you cannot do. Be confident in knowing that change can only help you grow, and boost your self confidence.

4. When you are engaged in a one to one conversation, or with a larger group of people, let them know that you’re shy. This prevents them from misreading you and they are far more likely to invite you into the conversation rather than leave you just listening and wishing you could contribute.

Many people, me included, find following a conversation in a noisy room difficult. If you are having difficulty say so and move so that you can hear. People respect honesty, and vulnerability and you will attract more honest people into your life as a result.

5. Rejection is a fact of life that everyone experiences. It is rarely you that is being rejected. If you are rejected, for example if you ask someone for a date, remember that everyone has different likes and dislikes. You may be attracted to one type of person and not others. The same applies to other people and you are probably just not their type. That does not devalue you in any way. Accept this and know that you will get over it. Never take it personally and keep in mind that if people reject you it is because of their own likes and dislikes and not because of who you are. You are equally entitled to reject others because of your likes and dislikes.

6. Engage in an activities that make you feel excited and good about yourself or start a hobby that gives you a feeling of relaxation. This could be anything from gardening to Tai Chi to Karate. Take some lessons, learn or master a musical instrument or take singing lessons. Do something that excites you and take a risk. Exploring things that make you feel excited is a great antidote for shyness.

 

 

Self Improvement Advice And Free Tips

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I am sure that I am not alone in the fact that I have a large army of demons in my head. These demons are always talking to me and trying to advise me about how to react to different situations. For many years I listened and took their advice, these years were not exactly happy ones and I have now come to realise that these demons are not my friends but are actually my enemy.

I had many issues in my life that had a negative affect on my levels of self-esteem. The demons used these issues to get to me and to play their mind games. For this article, I am going to describe my stuttering demons and how I eventually destroyed them. The advice can be used for whatever type of demon you may have.

At the age of four, I developed a stutter which would continue to affect my speech for the next eighteen years of my life. I was aware of what I could and could not say and was also aware of the social situations in which I was more likely to stutter.

If I was asked a question by for example a friend, I would think of the answer but before I would have a chance to say it, a voice would appear. This voice or what I call my demons would advise me not to say that word and to substitute it for a different word.

If I was invited out to say a party, my demons would advise me not to go, as there would be a lot of people there that I did not know. They would remind me that I found it difficult talking to people which I did not know.

At one stage in my life, I decided that I wanted a career change as I was not happy in the role that I was in. My demons reminded me, that to find alternative employment meant going through the whole interview process again. They continued that I had always struggled to talk fluently at interviews, due to the pressure factor.

I would be able to speak quite well when I was drunk and this is when I would have the confidence to talk to the ladies. On several occasions a woman has given me their phone number and I would tell them that I would call them to arrange a night out. The next day though, when sober, the demons would remind me that making a phone call is what I find the hardest form of speech task and to simply not bother.

As previously stated, I used to listen to these demons. Things had to and were about to change. After reading many self-help books, I realised what I had been doing wrong. I should not be listening to these demons, in fact what I need to do is the opposite of what they tell me. Don’t go to that party, OK then I will. Don’t phone that lady up, OK I will, etc.

I am not trying to say that this is easy to do. I am happy to say that I have eradicated my speech demons and am now fluent, however I do still have demons in other areas of my life. There are not nearly as many as there have been in the past and I am slowly hopefully killing them all.

I treat it like a war. There are many battles and I have to say that I do not win them all. I talk to my demons all the time and especially when they win one of these type battles. I tell them that they may have won this particular battle but that I will win the overall war.

You may possibly think that I am a bit of a freak after reading this article. I frankly do not care, I am happier now than I have ever been.

Good luck in your quest to improve your own life.

Your Self Esteem

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Self Esteem

When you’re learning about something new, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of relevant information available. This informative article should help you focus on the central points.

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Truthfully, the only difference between you and Self esteem experts is time. If you’ll invest a little more time in reading, you’ll be that much nearer to expert status when it comes to Self esteem.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you — “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

There’s a lot to understand about Self esteem. We were able to provide you with some of the facts above, but there is still plenty more to write about in subsequent articles.

The Key to Developing Your Self-Esteem

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Self-esteem is a state of mind. It can fill you with happiness, cheer, and confidence. It can also make you feel terrible about yourself. Self-esteem is like a battery. When the battery is charged, the individual is positive; when the battery is low, the individual is negative.

Individuals with low self-esteem often do not do well in life. They will approach most situations with little confidence though they may be fully capable of accomplishing it. Self-belief is considered the foundation of self-esteem. It provides the extra confidence that one needs to know they can do anything.

So how do you develop self-belief in yourself? Do not mistake self-belief as self-importance. They are not the same. It is more like conceit, spawn over confidence and egotism, which does not lead to personal success.

The right answer is positive self-esteem. This means that you see yourself as good and capable as anyone else, no better or worse, you are proud of who you are, and you approach everything with a positive outlook.

To do this you must learn to accept yourself unconditionally. You will have strengths and weaknesses, and you will have achievements and failures. You must learn to accept those realities. This is what self-esteem is all about — truth in yourself.

Those who always languish are never happy. Those who blame everyone else for their failures also never get ahead. They are consumed with negativity.

It is important to not let your mistakes or failures overpower you, and ruin your happiness. You have to accept your mistakes and move on. Any time you do not acknowledge your mistakes, you lose some of your self-esteem.

Most people gain a lot of happiness from their accomplishments. Their self-esteem rises; they feel like they can accomplish anything. However, the same self-esteem can fall when that person is rejected or makes a mistake. This can cause a person to feel unhappy and unwanted, and can eat away at his self-esteem until he is very unhappy. It will also impact other realms of his life.

In order to improve your self-esteem, you need to be fair to yourself. Do not beat yourself up when something goes wrong. It can lead to depression and overwhelming guilt. A mistake or failure cannot be changed, but it can be learned from. Everyone should judge himself or herself fairly. Beating up on oneself leads to defeat, and destroys self-esteem.

Why Did Kermit Fall for Miss Piggy?

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Take a look at Miss Piggy from the muppets. She was always very outgoing and confident, but more importantly she had amazing self-esteem. She thought and firmly believed that she was stunningly beautiful and she displayed it in a very dramatic way. Everyone fell for it, everyone found her to be glamourous. What’s more, Kermit the frog even went and fell in love with her! But let’s look at the truth of the matter – she was a pig!

Now she was no curvaceous Jessica Rabbit from the film “Who framed Roger Rabbit” who was a text book stunner! Miss Piggy certainly did not have the qualities of your typical super-model, I would even put my neck on the line and say that she was a bit chunky.

Developing self-esteem and oozing confidence can and does distinctly increase your ability to be irresistably attractive. It can and very often does create an illusion or aura of value, worth and desirability.

Why do we find a person with high self-esteem to be attractive? What is it about them that draws our attention and admiration? Is it the mystique? Is it an aura? That certain “je ne sais quoi?”

Look at what is happening here; a person who exhibits strong self-esteem is telling the world they value themselves. After all, the meaning of “self-esteem” is the esteem (value) of the self. It is the estimation of worth that you are giving to yourself. So when a person recognises their own self-worth and exhibits that to the rest of us, we start to think that they know something that we don’t! In other words, they think they are special and have value.

Likewise when someone shows the world that they have low self-esteem, we tend to believe and think that if they do not think very highly of themselves, then why should we be impressed or respectful of them? We certainly don’t usually allow ourselves to be dazzled by them.

In both cases, we simply go along with the estimation that what the person has signaled to us is valid. We tend to just believe the verdict that the person has put upon themself.

So why is that attractive? We, as humans, are naturally attracted to that which has been deemed valuable. We also tend to want to be a part of a larger group. We often follow the lead, join groups, and go along with the majority opinion – just to be part of the group.

High self-esteem can also create an illusion of attractiveness, or competence, even when it is not necessarily there. It is possible for us to be fooled. After all, attractiveness is a subjective attribute.

Self-esteem is the way that you feel about yourself, self-confidence is the way you feel about your abilities. Both can enhance your ability to attract partners, pay-rises, friends, sales, success, achievement and lots more. I think it would be valuable to learn how to increase your own self-esteem today. Hey, if it gets Miss Piggy pulling at someones (some-frogs) heart strings, it can do the same for you.

 

Healthy Environment For Self Esteem

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Healthy self esteem originates in the environment found in the: family, school, peer group, work place, and community. There are certain characteristics of your environment that need to be present in order for self esteem to be fostered and grow.

The main component of a healthy environment for self esteem is that it needs to be nurturing. It should provide unconditional warmth, love, and caring. It needs to provide the realization that other people are recognized as deserving to be nurtured, reinforced, rewarded, and bonded to.

Healthy environment for self esteem transmits messages of warmth, loving, and caring by physical touch, meeting the survival needs of food, clothing and shelter, and providing a sense of stability and order in life.

A healthy environment for self esteem should provide acceptance. It will recognize that other people see each other as worthy individuals who have a unique set of personality characteristics, skills, abilities, and competencies making them special. Acceptance enables people to develop relationships with others, yet maintain healthy boundaries of individuality within themselves.

In the healthy environment for self esteem should be good communication, everyone should be heard and responded to in a healthy way so that healthy problem solving is possible. Appropriate giving and receiving of feedback is encouraged and rewarded. Communicating at a “feelings” level is a mode of operation for these people, allowing them to be in touch with their emotions in a productive manner.

The healthy environment for self esteem must contain recognition and acceptance of people for who they are. That recognition and acceptance should not be based on the condition that they must first conform to a prescribed standard of behavior or conduct. This is unhealthy. Unconditional recognition and acceptance given in the form of support allows individuals to reach their ultimate potential.

The healthy environment for self esteem should be clearly defined and enforced limits known to individuals with no hidden tricks or manipulation. Limits set the structure for the lives of individuals, allowing clear benchmarks of appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Limits enable individuals to recognize their responsibilities and to chart their course of behavior in a rational way.

Respect and latitude for individual action within the defined limits of the healthy environment for self esteem should be present as well. This encourages individuals to use their creativity, ingenuity, and imagination to be productive within the established structure. Restrictions that suppress individuality can lead to a narrow focus, with people becoming stunted and handicapped in the use of their personal skills, abilities, and resources.

Finally, healthy environment for self esteem should be bonding, which is the physical/emotional phenomenon between individuals and the others in their environment. This is necessary for the development of healthy self esteem. Bonding is forming a mutual emotional attachment between an individual and a “significant other” (parent, child, friend, lover, etc.). This involves the significant other giving unconditional love and support as well as developing an emotional link between each other.